Tracking...

Well, it has been a while since I update the blog. Firstly, I am so touched to receive the comments from my friends and my family on my blog on “A tribute to the man who cried for me...”. Thanks!

Oct is coming to an end. Today we are celebrating Deepavali and it is nice to have a break!

Last weekend, a group of us headed to Cameron Highlands for a night stay. The last time I have been there were about 2-3 years ago. Nothing much has changed. However one thing which is quite obvious was the temperature, it was not as low as before. Sigh…we humans are terrible...we opt for development over protecting the nature…

The whole trip was “Awesome” as Kennedy puts it...but I particularly enjoyed the jungle tracking most. We started the track at about 430pm on the day we arrived...we were enthusiastic about this and frankly, none of us have been through this track in Cameron before…so, we don’t know where or what is ahead of us neither where’s the end...we played by ear and just walked...hopefully to see an end…

I was amazed to have the girls like Lisa, Louisa & Tze Yin whom are those who prefer beauty over adventure were as sporting as us…also Kar Mun whom hurt her knees when she returned from Italy a couple of weeks ago...still hanging tough and followed us closely behind…I am also proud of Jeff and David for staying behind with Kar Mun although they can choose not to!

The track seems to be unexplored for some time and we didn’t see anyone joining us on the track...it was just the 12 of us as we walked down hill…it was thrilling! The track was slippery, muddy and challenging…we have to climb over or squeeze through the fallen trunks...we also came across some small water falls along the way...some of us slipped and fell along the way…half way through, it poured heavily and we still continued on…the rain then stopped…before we get dry, it poured again..(it was more than a decade since I enjoyed myself in the rain!) Great sceneries were spotted along the way…they were breathtaking views…Awesome God’s creations…

After an hour plus, 11 of us decided to turn back since we were unsure how far to go neither will there be an end! Kennedy was the odd one out and suggested that we take a cab when we reach foothill…a cab in Cameron?? Nah!!!

We managed to reach our base about 630pm..one word describes our feeling then...EXHAUSTED! The following day, most of our legs were aching…but none regretted the tracking! We can’t stopped sharing the feelings that we had when we were on the track...we laughed, we knew the experiences we had was worth the while though it was tough!!! We hope to do it again someday soon…

This track has further reminded me about one’s life…God never promised us that our life would be an easy path…remember when we were born, we cried out loud! Life is definitely an ‘adventure’ for us...none of us would know what is ahead neither the end…there will be times that we need to climb over challenges, squeeze through the ‘difficulties’, surprises, exhausted, slip and fall…pain for loss, enjoyment of successes, feeling of joy and love from the people surrounding us…All these will be part of us…

Aileen’s father was hospitalized a month ago from a fall...he was in coma. The 1st time I saw him in ICU, the sight was similar to 10 years ago when Marcos was lying in Assunta. We did not give up and trusted God for miracle. I told myself, it didn’t matter what had happened 10 years ago...he will be a testimony for his family...God is merciful, he woke up in a couple of days and after a month plus he is now at home, recovering! Hallelujah…praise God!

Mom’s second check-up was encouraging...her white blood cells count is improving and I believe the next check-up would be the last for God will completely heal her!!! Amen…Jaycy’s received good news from her doc that her growth on her breast is non cancerous!! Praise God...Amen…

Many said we are heading into “great depression” as our global economy is in turmoil…some of us are loosing quite a fair bit in our investments and we are already complaining and worrying so much…but come to think of it, we should look at those whom have lost their job because of this economic crisis...those whom have to cut their food intake to ensure they can survive through this challenging times…those whom are unable to handle this crisis pressure and take their own life…I must say that we at times should look at things in a wider perspective rather selfishly and blame everyone for our own self lost!

Life is definitely a challenging one…and I know that I must rely on God to get through it…no matter how tough or impossible or how painful it can be...He will ensure that I will be able to overcome and be strong! The path maybe winding, muddy, slippery, seems to have no end but the day when I am called home, I can say “I am exhausted but I have no regrets in this journey…”

A tribute to the man who cried for me...

Oct 2008 will be a decade since Ah Pak went away to be with the Lord...how time has passed. However every memory of him is still fresh in my mind and I am not intending to loose them.

I was 'baby-sitted' by my father's elder brother and his wife when I was 1 month old. I came back to join my own family when I was age 6. In that 6 years, I thought my uncle and my aunty were my parents whereas my parents were my uncle and aunty. I fondly called my uncle, Pak Pak while my aunty as Ma Ma later changed to Ah Leong as my other aunties were advising me to be sensitive to my own mom...Later, my cousins gave Pak Pak an english name ie Marcos while Ah Leong as Imelda since Pak Pak has some similarity to Marcos, the Philipines PM then..

I remember that those days when i stayed with Marcos and Imelda everyday without failed I will be anxiously waiting for him to return from work. A glass of tea and an innocent look, hoping that for a ride on his kapchai..Some evenings worked, some didn't...hahaha..but I never gave up the same old act until I was too big to ride in front of it...

By night, "Incredible Hulk" would be in full action, disturbing him from reading the newspaper...at times, he got so irritated and pinned the lil "green thing" down for good...Thereafter a loud cry can be heard for justice to be done. Immediatley 3 angels (my cousins Judy/ Janet/ Jaycy) will come from nowhere for my rescue. Well, actually they were just trying to shut me up asap!!! When the 'angels' failed, Imelda would always managed to do the job..Marcos would then have his wicked laugh...I hated the laughter so "Incredible Hulk" jumped back on his chest and snatched his reading glasses! Before he could retaliate, Imelda gave out sterned warning to stop the episode..All he could say was "You spoilt lil brat..". There, I must have my last laugh...else, I won't give up!

And his cookings were simply irresistible. Not that Imelda's cooking is bad, she is an excellent cook. My mom and other aunties learned from her on those traditional cooking. Marcos's signature dishes includes young bamboo shoots with beef, braised beef, fish paste porridge or oats (my favourite), beef jerky, steamed egg with fish brain, sweet steamed egg, etc..Boy o boy, I cleaned up my plate everytime and often crossed border to attack his portion too..he he he...

Every weekend, he would planned all sorts to keep me entertained. Plans can be as far as going to Genting Highland just for the sake of cooling down or somewhere just to have a plate of hokkien mee (my favourtie then)...I don't know why but whenever I travelled in a car I fell asleep easily then..So, sometimes we made it to our destination while at times he just made a U turn without uttering a single word...

The last trip with the whole family was to PD. Marcos was not himself somehow. Every now and then, he insisted me to capture photos of him..for memory he said. I did not pay much attention. After supper, we gathered at the corridor with my other cousins ie Jaycy and Janet...as usual, we girls loved to hear him talk..mind you, out 10 words out of his mouth, 7 are foul langauge which we found that without them, it would not be him...He told us that he had lived his life and he would rather die straight if any mishap happens..his will is not to be a burden for his beloved wife and his family..His only worries would be Imelda on her rhuematism and Judy, his 3rd daughter...We immediately hushed him and changed the whole subject..

About 2 weeks after PD trip, Marcos took me to another trip with Imelda..it was just 3 of us..I was reluctant at first but hey, it has been a while that the 3 of us travelled...we headed to Kukup Island in a tour where the whole bus was full of old folks..I guessed I was the only young adult in the group..the tour guide must be wondering if I have signed up on the wrong trip! I hated the tour guide as she did not pass my share of breakfast thinking that young gal would be on diet...why waste?! Marcos noted that and gave half his share to me..I took it because I know if I didn't, he would be upset thinking I am on diet..O, he dislikes those who opt for diet to be thinned..He always said, "Sik tak hai fook" (Able to eat is a blessing!)

By night after dinner, the 2 of us were sitting at the dock enjoying the sea breeze. Imelda went to the room for an early rest.He told me many stories..from politics to family's history. I never grew tired in listening to him..but at times he went silent..and we just simply enjoyed each other's presence...

A horrific news came after 2 weeks from Kukup trip. Dad told me that Marcos was hospitalised when I came back from pasar malam. The dinner which I had before we went to hospital was the most difficult to swallow till date.Marcos hit a beam when he was fixing the roof that afternoon. His brain was bleeding and he was in coma. The sight of him lying in ICU with many tubes inserted is still fesh in my mind.

I prayed so hard for a miracle...after 7 days, he left. My whole world crashed but I was told not to tear whenever Imelda is in sight...she lost her man whom loved her for 50 years!During the funeral,I overheard my cousin was conversing with some uncle/aunty and pointed over to me "Yea, she is the one..you remember her..you know,my father loves her so much as though she was his own...everyone said she looked like him and he was so proud. He even hid in the toilet and cried when she went home at 6 yrs old..his eyes continued to be red for the next few days..this is how my father loved her.." He cried???!! I remember that day when my parents took me, I cried to the top of lungs, hanging to his legs but I can't recalled anyone came for my 'rescue'...

Disbelieving what I heard, Jaycy and Janet confirmed to me in several other occassions..even Imelda too...

A man whom had been through the toughest in his life and never once gave up...would tear for a small non blood related girl..I am so touched and I am lost for words for his love...While I was lost and angry that Marcos never had a real chance to enjoy his retirement age, God spoke .."My child, why are you so angry?? you prayed for a miracle and wanted with all your heart for him to have good life...wouldn't being with Me, he will have ALL things?" My heart agreed with God but my mouth just unable to say "Amen" because I am no longer near him...

Over the years, the Lord helped me to build myself and I began to re-look to those times when we spent time talking...I realize that the PD trip we made 1 month before he departed, he had given us the last message..ie Look after Imelda and Judy for me...he knew he was leaving...he damn knew it!!!

And I guess, I learned that in loving someone, it is not necessary to be near him/her...more importantly is I continue his wishes and be of someone whom he can be proud of...

I am so blessed that God has given me him and I am so blessed that he is with Him...AMEN!THANK YOU, Pak Pak..it doesn't matter how many years will passed, you will always be part of me...

Destination

I was reading a book and a phrase caught my attention where it reads "..the destination is less important than the journey."

I beg to differ as my destination is as important as my journey. By knowing where I am heading, I then know how to path my way and more importantly I pray that my way would be in line with His 'prepared route' for me...

Last few weeks have been rocky...work is getting more pressurize..Everyday is do or "die". It did not matter what are the 'obstacles', just know that we need to deliver our target. Here we know where is our destination ie 600m is the mark. But the pathway is never clear..rocky, winding, contradicting and most of the time we found 'dead-ends'...I pray that something can be done before we end up like many others whom we once 'laughed at' for acting like a headless chicken. I used to be upset when I hear about a resignation from someone I am close to. Now, if the same happens, I would be happy for them...Many have asked that I do the same..at the moment, my mind and my heart could not agree with each other...I guess, being loyal has a price to pay but how much more can I afford to fork out???

Not just having to deal with the pressures at work, getting in and out of the hospital is like adding tonnes of weight on my shoulders. I praise God for His miracle healing on mom whom lost her memory temporary...but unfortunately she did not receive a clean bill of health when we returned for a second check-up. Her white blood cells count is abnormally high. Another check is needed.

As I was trying not to let the devil to control my mind, a SMS came during a meeting and my Ah Leong was rushed to UH for a suspected stroke. I was lost during the whole meeting and the memory of loosing both my Ah Pak and dad quickly dominated my thoughts. I prayed silently that history will not repeat and God has graciously heard my prayer...Ah Leong was diagnosed with low sugar level instead of stroke. Hallelujah! She recovered and discharged within 3 days...

Well, the above was not the only incidents..my bro broke his ankle badly during a futsal..here we go, it's UH again!!!sigh..going to UH's emergency ward was almost like frequent visits to a friend' house. This has to stop and it will in Jesus's name. I am believing in God to place His mighty hands on my family members and heal them...Amen..

Thorughout the challenging times, it made me realized that having Jesus in my heart is all I need to carry me through, nothing to fear, nothing to be confused...just walk wih Him faithfully...though the path maybe rocky, winding, contradicting, dark, no consistency... but it is the path that I have chosen and must take because I know damn sure that I am seeing "The Light" in front of me...MY DESTINATION!

In You I trust, amen...

A cave in Ipoh (aka "The Light")

What a Weekend!

Wow, it has been a great weekend... and I hate that it is ending soon. Nevertheless we might have a public holiday if Lee Chong Wei wins the gold later! Come on Chong Wei, you can do it..all Msian supports you..we need a break! :)

On Saturday we celebrated Shin's bday at d'italliane restaurant, Jaya 33. The food was nothing fantastic compares to Nero Vivo, Jln Ceylon. However it was the occassion and the companions that made the lunch simply superb! Blessed Birthday, my dearest pal Shiny..

Ceasar Salad

Mushrooms

Our bday cake for Shin :)

bday girl with Pei Sze n me

An hour after lunch, Pei Sze smsed and suggested to meet up with some old schoolmates. Well, it has been a looooonnnngg time I have not seen my secondary school friends and was recently hooked up via facebook. And we did. 1st to turn up was my form 1 and form 2 sitting partner, Sharon. Wow, the last time we met was during Pei Sze's wedding. It was 6 yrs ago and we realized that we were then in our 20s..how time flies! I still remember the girls who sat behind us ie Hoo Lai Ching and Chew Mei Loo..wonder where are these girls?! Next who walked in was Yoke Mei and then came Swee Cheng. These were the infamous petite pretty girls...I used to envy YM as her god-mom never failed to bring her good food during recess while I had to settle with 50 cents mee sup... :( ...SC as she was and is still like SC...chatty n happy go lucky kinda gal!

We began to chat and many many names appeared in our conversation...brings back a lot of memories and wonders too...we were thinking where they are now ..it's so true that schooldays were the best days in our life - when we have a big bunch of friends (u can actually name 40-50 friends easily) and were so care-free...still remember that we used to gather around and have our very own karaoke whenever teacher was absent...those days New Kids On The Block were like Beatles in the 60s...Tommy Page, Belinda Carlise, Debbie Gibson, Rick Astley etc..when evening comes we would proudly ride our BMX and explored our neighbourhood like the Mat Rempits these days..hahahaha..

Swee Cheng,Sharon, Pei Sze, Yoke Mei

Sigh, it has been more than a decade gone since high school. This gathering is great and i surely hope for more reunions..:)

Healing...

It was already near 1am when I returned home last nite and I saw my mom's room light was still on. I was suprised and felt guilty, thinking if she was waiting for me.

I went in the room and found her lying on the floor like a little girl burning midnite oil...I asked why she was still up and scribbling on the floor. She looked up and told me that Pastor requested her to give a testimony tomorrow morning- last minute preparation! I gave her a big smile...

2 Mondays ago, I was having a meeting and received mom's call. At that moment, I was irritated since the meeting was not going on well and the call was just untimely. Nevertheless I answered and mom was complaining about her headache. I told her to take a pill and lie down. She further asked what's today day? and wondered she has woken up since morning. I did not pay much attention and ended the call abruptly. Within 5 minutes, she called again and repeated the same conversation. The 3rd time she called with the same conversation, I knew something went wrong and my whole body started to shake and mind messed up. The same feeling I felt whenever I received calls from home when my dad was suffering from cancer 2 years ago.

By the time I reached home, brother has takee mom to see Dr Wong. They came home 10 minutes thereafter and noted that my brother was irritated while mom was still in the car. I approached her and her face was so pale. She again repeated the same conversation and this time she was unable to remember that she had earlier called me. My brother and myself decided to take her to another clinic since Dr Wong was closed. Throughout our journey to search for a clinic, our patience was really being tested since mom kept repeating her words.

I felt very lost and called Shin and PZ for advice. Same time, I need someone to pray for mom. So I sms Pastor and my cousins. The doctor has no idea what was wrong with mom apart from suffering migraine. BP and temparature were normal. Doc advised to admit mom to hospital. The thought of going to UH's emergency room was like "the devil pulling me back to hell" again...Crying out in my heart.."LORD! NO...PLEASE"

We headed home to take mom's documents and to feed her with medication since it would take some time for the docs in hospital to attend to her. Pastor and Jaycy came. Mom began to sob when she saw them. It reminded me during the time mom was suffering from depression. My heart hurts so much to see the same scenario but this time my dad is no longer around to hug and kiss her...Mom was totally lost and kept crying as though she was being 'kidnapped'...Jay's eyes were red and trying to hold back her tears..

Pastor was strong and reminded us that we need God and we pray...He guided mom to pray and praise God..each time after a prayer, mom will stop crying and compose..that will only last for 5-10 minutes...the saga began again...and we pray and pray..from 5-10 mintues..the time extended to 15 min then 20 mins....finally we managed to calm her and send her to bed...brother was witnessing the whole episode..

I could hardly sleep that night...my heart felt better when she woke up the next day without headache and able to recall some of the incident ..though was vague. I took her to the specialist and over the week she had done MRI and blood test... Also over the few days, she is her normal self again...

With the tests results, the Prof Tan diagnosed Transient Global Amnesia which can be caused by migraine...Mom is now on medication to control her migraine..The words from Prof "You need not to worry as nothing serious.." lifted my soul and I am so thankful for HIS HEALING..IT IS JESUS...I KNOW IT! AMEN...

The best was that my brother witnessed the confidence of our Pastor and his strong bond between himself and the church people...and how God healed our mom...I am waiting for the one day when my brother will be save...Yes, Amen!

"Tongue Haven pt 2"

Chinatown

The first day in Melb was great..came the 2nd day and Jacsmyn needed to go home. So sad..We decided to let Jacs to choose her lunch before we sent her to airport. "Dim sum!", she said...fantastic choice.

We headed to Southgate for the most famous dim sum in Melb. Unfortunately, we were too early (it's already 11+am..early?!). Well, along the way we captured some great sights of Melb city. Lyn then took us to Chinatown for the alternate place for dim sum. The moment I stepped in the restaurant, it reminded me my childhood years when Ye Ye and Pak Pak took me to yum cha. The ambience is exactly like I was in of Kam Lun Tai restaurant when I was 4. The taste and size of the dim sums were also like those I ate then. Big in size and not as fanciful as those dim sum we have now in KL. I remember those years I was excited when I yum cha with Ye Ye and Pak Pak..cos these gentlemen would talked a lot and I took the opportunity to eat a lot... :)

After sending Jacs off, we headed for shopping! Boy o boy...managed to grab a short from Esprit and headed home cos Chef Keith was preparing dinner despite he came home early because of his bad flu. I felt 'guilty' to have a sick man cooking..but hey, when will I gonna have the opportunity again?! That nite I was told that oysters have its different taste depending where they come from. A tip from chef! Then we had Spanish seafood for entree. We enjoyed a botltle of white and another bottle of red wine during our 1 1/2 hrs dinner. As for dessert, I was privilege to try out a new fruit. Can't remember what's the name in english. But in chinese it is called "Golden Dragon Fruit".

Golden Dragon Fruit

Subsequent days in Melb, we mostly travelled to city and was in Dangdenons on Saturday. The memories I gained were mostly the wonderful food that I had...they ranges from appetisers to entree to desserts...yum yum..here are some of the food I had and they are all tasty... vietnamese beef noodles, wagyhu steak, more oysters, apple struidel, durian ice cream (can you believe it?), pancakes, cupcakes, tooth fish (this is way better than a cod), spanish donut, german hotdog and many more.

Osyter @ Bistro

Well on Friday, we were set to go for the best steak in Melb as per Chef Keith. Thus I was told to dress up!And the result was - I became a "mini" Lyn since I borrowed her blouse and overcoat for the nite..hehehehe..thanks, Lyn! We headed to Crown Hotel and ate at Rockpool. Wow, it's like I was being invited to Gordon Ramsey's restaurant...you can clearly see the chefs working on their orders just like how those we have seen in f Word..minus Gordon. I chose a bone marrow appetiser and shared a steak with Lyn. By then I was so satisfied and full...I told myself I had no more room for desserts and were affirmitive...but then when they served the desserts...what the heck!just find some space..surely they will go in..hahaha..Besides the food, Keith managed to meet the owner of the restaurant, Neil Perry and took a photo!

Kitchen @ Rockpool

Lyn n me

Bone Marrow

Steak

Dessert that I can't resist

Can you resist this?

How about this?

Sunday I found myself having dinner at Cafe Cavallino @ Lygon Street, which is a big fan of ferrari F1..every where you'll see red!The food is simple and tasty...on top of it, we had Lumbrusco. Thanks for introducing it, Keith..just love it. I enjoyed Lumbrusco so much that I even had Janet to buy one when I was in Perth. More so, when I reached home I went hunting for it and found it in Jusco for RM39/-.. :) Mom enjoyed it too..

After the dinner, we headed to a dessert shop called Brunetti which Lyn has been longing to take me..I never had coffee at nite for a long time since I am very sensitive to caffeine. But then again, why care since I am holidaying..cannot sleep then wake up later! Keith's suggested affogati and I had not regretted for having it...wonder if I can find it in KL...hmmm...

Spaghetti @ Cafe

Pizza @ Cafe

Desserts @ Brunetti

Last stop was to Movida, a Spanish restaurant in city before I left for Perth..yet again the food just melt in your mouth...everytime I thought of the tapas (esp the wagyhu beef) I start to drool...gosh, I am hungry! Thank you Father for the wonderful food You provided for me...Amen..Btw, Thanks Keith & Lyn!!! chow...

Waghyu which melts in your mouth

Why not?!

It has been a hectic week. Plans which my boss have in his mind really bother me a lot. Throughout the week I have been thinking and thinking..I had even thought of alternatives eventhough his plans are yet to materialize...I don't know what to do or what to think..so tired..

Friday came and it was our annual dinner.. I decided to let go and enjoy myself..WHY NOT?! ..anyway, I bought a pair of boots from Aussie for this nite, I am gonna have fun!AND I DID...more to that, 2 colleagues of mine protected me from more drinks and police roadblocks...what can I asked for more to have these 'angels' with me despite me being so 'naughty'...Amen! I was laughing through out the nite, yelling yum seng all the way...and when we headed for home, my colleagues asked "MC, are you unhappy?"..I looked at her a while and shook my head a lil...and asked her to turn right at the front junction...soon forgotten her question..so drunk!

My boots

The next day was like a 'punishment' for my bad...looking at kiwi turning like a merry-go-round didn't made him look adorable in anyway! luckily mom went for lunch appointment (of which I was supposedly to attend as well..but then I think mom got the message when I didn't even wake up at 12pm)..the toilet was the only comfort place then...

By evening, WMC has awaken...took a quick bite and went off to Abi's birthday...time flies and Abi is now 2 years old...all had a great time and best was - no one knew how to cut the lovely kitty kat cake...well, somehow we just chop it into pieces..it's a damn rich chocolate cake...I was deliberating to eat or not...WHY NOT?!..it should lift my 'soul' a while...

Kitty Kat cake

Abi at 2

Sunday came and it was a dragging one..been thinking throughout the sermon whether I should just take a day off tomorrow and head for Pavillion!!!Pastor would have 'stoned me to death' if he knew what was going through my mind..somehow I made myself to the altar..prayed..and I took a day off today! "For the Lord takes care of the birds of the air and the lilies..He will care for His child.."

And yes, I headed to Pavillion...WHY NOT?! I have been longing for a rugged leather watch since 2 years ago..and I saw one today unintentionally...I said again, WHY NOT?! .."Dik, boleh saya pakai sekarang?" It's WMC's!

My 1st leather watch after more than a decade

"I walk by faith, each step I take.. I am gonna put my trust in Him.."