2010 is a year where I gained many experiences and full of activities.
1st month of 2010, it was already the start of a challenging year with changes in my work environment. I didn't understand why the good ones were taken away and left all the 'below the water' to myself. What have I done wrong? Frankly, I was not ready to let go the success and to start all over again. Left with no choice, I moved on with a grudge.
Months passed. God never fails to remember what was disturbing me. When I looked back e past few months and the progress of my portfolios, they amazed me. A brother then shared with me that perhaps, this arrangement was purposely made as such for me. I must recognised and focus on the +ve side ie to instill re-building skills. Don't hold on to what I have lost, but what I can gain. I begun to understand.
In that 1st quarter, not only did God open my eyes on re-building skills, I also learned the power of prayer especially from my family members. I have the tendency of being shy to ask my own mom to pray for me. Probably, I was not comfortable in telling her what I wanted or my problems. Something prompted my heart. My mom has been praying for others. Why do I need to choose who to pray for me but rather to trust and be glad that I have my mom to pray for me ie her daughter?! And I finally did asked mom to pray. God never fails. He heard and He provided! Halleluja...
If you have read my blog earlier, I was even called to court. Once again, I learned patient and God will know what's best for us and when will be the perfect timing! I am so glad 2010 has brought a sweet end to this case.
I made many travels in 2010. All journeys made whether they were for my work or for leisure, I thanked God for them. I was able to learn, to share, to capture the sweet memories, to experience etc. These will be the treasures in my heart which I will be carrying throughout my lifetime.
As for my spiritual walk, 2010 is a year which I have to stop being a 'baby'. I grew up and did away the 'milk' to take on 'solid food'. To share His goodness is wonderful. To witness the 'seed' which I have been sowing to become a 'sprout', is breath-taking! Aside from this, I was assigned a new task in my church. A task which I never thought I could. Lo and behold in 2010, He said "It's time". I took up the task and I must confess that when God claimed that you are ready, He will be with you and ensure you will not run dry! After a few tries, I thought of giving up the task and eventho I knew God has been equipping me. I did not think I was ready and was not comfortable. To challenge God it rather a stupid move. For some dads, when a child is ready to give up, either dad will agree or dad will scold the child for being weak or dad will try his best to convince the child. For our Father in Heaven, He made every tries to be better and better and made sure I am being informed - until there is no way for me to say, "I am not ready!" He is an awesome God that many times, you can never able to predict His move.
For 2010, it is or going to be 'was' a year that it is hard to forget. I will carry all the good memories, good experiences, lessons learned to cross over to 2011. I shall leave behind the 'chains and anchors' that hold me down. Thank you, Lord for 2010...2011, here I come!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Knowing, Believing, Trusting & Faith
A few months ago, I started to chair my church service. Being behind the pulpit makes me shiver eventhough I have done these for some times.
Preparation is easy. To find a topic for sharing, to speak and to pray in front of every member, I find it most difficult. No matter how much I have prepared and written on my paper on that day, my voice could be heard shaking. To encourage me, my cousin always gave me a pat on my back at the end of the session. Still, it didn't help much.
I was away for 2 weeks in October. While boarding the 16 hours flight, I thought to myself, it was time to quit. I had also been thinking hard what to say to the elders so that they won't have any rooms to hold me back from quiting. Adamant with my decision, all I was waiting was timing.
When I returned, immediately the next weekend I headed to PD with mom for church camp. I was super relief to find out that I was not involved in any of the sessions. Phew...and yahoo!!! The camp was great until the last session before we depart for KL. We were asked to share on our camp experience. When mom gave her testimony, I got a shock!She has an aspiration for me and openly shared with everyone...something I would not dare to dream...
What she said, bothered me a lot until I lost track of my plan when to break the news to the elders. Soon I got my notification to chair another church service. 4 words appeared in my mind - Know, Believe, Trust & Faith. Seems that they have almost similar meaning.
What to share on these 4 words? What do they actually mean? I googled them. To cut things short, know is with a fact, believe is something you convince yourself with/without a fact, trust is something stronger than believing - it helps you to have an easier life (when you trust someone, you would not spend time to check on him/her) and lastly faith - is something which is unseen and yet you believe. Usually when you trust someone, you have the faith in him/her.
Simply this statement came into my mind, you know there is an existence of God, you may or may not believe in Him. Even when you know and believe there is a God, you may not trust Him and/or have faith that He listens to you or answers your prayer. Thus these 4 words have their own meanings.
One night unsually I logged on to FB early of the night. I saw my cousin in Perth was online (also unsual). We chat. Finally, I shared with her that I decided to quit chairing service. She asked why. Simply I told her I am unfit as I am not a savvy person in bible plus my 'public speaking' sucks! Also I do not spend as much time as others in church activities and my involvement is negligible. She continued to probe me especially why does my voice shakes when I am behind the pulpit. I explained "It is because I am such a young fella sharing God's words to those who are so senior and some are intellectuals in theology, some are on fire for God...made me feel so small... :( "
She said "Stop". She then said "Didn't you know that God often use those who thinks they are insignificant to do His works? Read the bible"..."You knew that. Why aren't you believing that He is using you to speak to those who are in need to hear. Have trust and faith in Him that you will be able to handle this well. Stop thinking of quiting. Start believing"
Often we know what to say how to say. However, we also often think that what we say only applies to others and not for ourselves. What my cousin said is true for all of us. God never looked down on us eventhough we have our own shortfalls. He never wanted us to feel small either. When we do, we are belittling His creation.
Whatever we are going through now, whether it is a tough experience, a bad experience, a cross road - it has been arranged. It is up to us to decide whether we would want to believe that we can get through it and have the trust & faith in Him!Now, I need to practise more... :)
Preparation is easy. To find a topic for sharing, to speak and to pray in front of every member, I find it most difficult. No matter how much I have prepared and written on my paper on that day, my voice could be heard shaking. To encourage me, my cousin always gave me a pat on my back at the end of the session. Still, it didn't help much.
I was away for 2 weeks in October. While boarding the 16 hours flight, I thought to myself, it was time to quit. I had also been thinking hard what to say to the elders so that they won't have any rooms to hold me back from quiting. Adamant with my decision, all I was waiting was timing.
When I returned, immediately the next weekend I headed to PD with mom for church camp. I was super relief to find out that I was not involved in any of the sessions. Phew...and yahoo!!! The camp was great until the last session before we depart for KL. We were asked to share on our camp experience. When mom gave her testimony, I got a shock!She has an aspiration for me and openly shared with everyone...something I would not dare to dream...
What she said, bothered me a lot until I lost track of my plan when to break the news to the elders. Soon I got my notification to chair another church service. 4 words appeared in my mind - Know, Believe, Trust & Faith. Seems that they have almost similar meaning.
What to share on these 4 words? What do they actually mean? I googled them. To cut things short, know is with a fact, believe is something you convince yourself with/without a fact, trust is something stronger than believing - it helps you to have an easier life (when you trust someone, you would not spend time to check on him/her) and lastly faith - is something which is unseen and yet you believe. Usually when you trust someone, you have the faith in him/her.
Simply this statement came into my mind, you know there is an existence of God, you may or may not believe in Him. Even when you know and believe there is a God, you may not trust Him and/or have faith that He listens to you or answers your prayer. Thus these 4 words have their own meanings.
One night unsually I logged on to FB early of the night. I saw my cousin in Perth was online (also unsual). We chat. Finally, I shared with her that I decided to quit chairing service. She asked why. Simply I told her I am unfit as I am not a savvy person in bible plus my 'public speaking' sucks! Also I do not spend as much time as others in church activities and my involvement is negligible. She continued to probe me especially why does my voice shakes when I am behind the pulpit. I explained "It is because I am such a young fella sharing God's words to those who are so senior and some are intellectuals in theology, some are on fire for God...made me feel so small... :( "
She said "Stop". She then said "Didn't you know that God often use those who thinks they are insignificant to do His works? Read the bible"..."You knew that. Why aren't you believing that He is using you to speak to those who are in need to hear. Have trust and faith in Him that you will be able to handle this well. Stop thinking of quiting. Start believing"
Often we know what to say how to say. However, we also often think that what we say only applies to others and not for ourselves. What my cousin said is true for all of us. God never looked down on us eventhough we have our own shortfalls. He never wanted us to feel small either. When we do, we are belittling His creation.
Whatever we are going through now, whether it is a tough experience, a bad experience, a cross road - it has been arranged. It is up to us to decide whether we would want to believe that we can get through it and have the trust & faith in Him!Now, I need to practise more... :)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Sunday, September 12, 2010
When God did not answer prayer...
A lot people including myself (until recently) expects God to answer our every prayer and when He doesn't..it's going to be a 'SAD story'...
Recently, I have learned otherwise. I have learned that when God doesn't answer our prayer, it was not because we were not praying hard enough. My colleague forwarded an email and part of it read as
"Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout. Have you ever wonder why the rear mirror is small while the windshield is huge? Because the past is not as important as the future. All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities; when God doesn't solve your problems, He has faith in your abilities! When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you. WORRYING does not take away the troubles, it takes away today's PEACE"
This email came in time and enhance my spiritual knowledge especially the part where it reads as "When God doesn't answer your prayer, He has faith in your abilities". It has become clearer to me that not all prayers are answered and why.
I have been in the financial industry for almost 10 years now. I take delight in my work because I am able to assist others in owning their property. Although target was part of the KPI but importantly I must be accountable for my employer and the customers. As we know, money is rather a sensitive issue for most of us. In 08 which I have also shared in my blog that I received a rude shock right after my birthday. I received news that I will be summoned to court as the spouse of my customer took a legal action against us.
I read the summon over and over again. My name was repeatedly stated. I was angry because the statement given to the court was almost untrue! Apart from being angry, I was confused, sad and scared. I tried my best to recall the incident which took place 5-6 years ago. A lawyer was hired to represent us. We met and discuss the matter with our own legal assistants. To add salt into the wound, our own legal assistants did not have faith to win this case when I admitted that I did not translate the information on the insurance form entirely to the customer in cantonese. I was also disappointed in myself for failing to translate the entire form or at least refer the customer to a colleague who is fluent in chinese. This has then resulted a big mess and now I am wanted in court!
I kept recalling and think hard whether was there anything else I left out to safe me from this. But none. Then I asked "WHY ME?!" I didn't do any harm to anyone, I never dare to 'cheat' neither do I greed to get business. Why must this incident happened on me against hundreds of others who are also in the similar responsibility. Do everyone translate the entire form from english to chinese except me?! My heart was heavy and sad. I asked Lord to give me strength to overcome this challenge.
My heart was lifted a little when the lawyer commented "Look, I will try to negotiate for out of court settlement...and May Cy, you should not be to hard on yourself. Things like this do happen. I will do my best for you." I did not share this with many and especially not with my family. From that day onwards, I prayed that the case would be settled out of court and everyone will be happy with the outcome!
No news seems to be good news. Perhaps it has been setlled quietly. Then came a call 2 years later which was about a month plus ago. "Hi, May Cy, this is XX, from YY the law firm. Do you remember me?" Deep in my heart, I would like to reply, "No, I don't". Anyway, he told me to prepare to attend court in the next 3 weeks. I will be called as witness. I asked whether is there anyway or anything I can do to skip the court and compensate for my "mistake".
He replied, "Your mistake? What mistake? In my legal findings, I found not fault from you and that is why I want to fight this case." No fault from me? I certainly want the widow to be compensated, I replied. He assured that it will be a fair trial. A few hours later, I received another call from our own legal assistant. She commented that the lawyer must be very gungho to "fight" the case since chances are slim. My hope dashed again. In addition, she added on that she could not accompany me to court eventhough bosses would want someone else to be there. She asked me how? In my heart again, I was thinking that she must be joking! Since I get no morale support from her, her presence would not help at all. I just commented, "I will go myself. Do you think I have a choice?" Before our conversation ended, she said "OK a, you kow tim a?" Sigh...
3 weeks to go. I repeatedly pray for a miracle that the case would be settled out of court. 1 week to go, the lawyer called. Advised me to stay calm and we worked out our Q&A to be use in court. Amazingly this lawyer (is like an angel altho he is a heavy smoker) kept checking with me "May Cy, would you be comfortable if you give these answers to my questions?" I replied, "As long as it is the truth as I can remember, I am comfortable. Those items which I cannot recall, I do not want to say them in court because I am unsure. " XX commented, "Fair enough. But you should not feel guilty in anyway because you are not".
The day before the court proceeding, I am still hopeful for a miracle...but by 830am next morning I was sitting at the bench awaiting for the judge arrival. There were only 3 witnesses t be called. The 1st was the widow. What we watch in the movie on how the lawyers "drill" the witness are true. I heard my name repeatedly being blamed in the court by the widow and the prosecution lawyer. I thought to myself - I was being infamous that day for the wrong reason! I got nervous. My lawyer came to me during a break and told me to focus on the judge when I stand on the witness stand. Constantly he checked on me to ensure that I was ok.
The 1st witness took about 2 hours to finish her session. During the short break I sms my colleagues to pray for me. I need to stay calm and speak the truth - that will be my 2 main goals. When my turn came, I felt no trembling at all. I was full of confident...so full that at certain times, I question back those lawyers who wanted to "drill" me. Even the judge looked amazed when I corrected the prosecution lawyer's statement. My turn ended in less than 30 mins. I asked permission to leave. My lawyer commented, "Are you sure you do not want to stay till it ends?" I requested him to update myself when there is judgement made. I refused to stay and left. When I got into my car,I started trembling and thought how did I managed to be so calm and so full of energy until I could correct others. Was it not God who intervened?! I do not have other answer besides that His presence was with me.
After 2 weeks, I saw his name blinking in my handphone. I picked up. "May Cy, this is XX. I have great news! We have won!" I replied, "What? We won? means? the widow how?" "No worries, she will be compensated by 3rd party. It wasn't your responsibility to translate anything and the court finds NO FAULT with you"
HALLELUJAH! PRAISE BE TO GOD! AMEN! My tears well up and I could not thanked the Lord enough for such a great outcome and for the lawyer who believed in me and helped me through this...Now, lets' rewind a little. If my prayer to have outside court settlment, my name would not be 'cleared' at all...God did not answer that prayer of mine. Hallelujah! He put me through this challenge for 2-3 years and ensured that I come out of it victoriously! And He also remembered the widow...hallelujah...
This was really a test in my life to open my eyes and my heart that when He did not seem to answer, there is a strong reason behind...and He would never put us through a challenge that we would not be able to undertake cause He knows our abilities and He trust in our abilities. Ultimately, the world can be against you and it would not be a matter because when God is with you, you have the world! Keep on trusting Him and you won't go wrong....
Recently, I have learned otherwise. I have learned that when God doesn't answer our prayer, it was not because we were not praying hard enough. My colleague forwarded an email and part of it read as
"Prayer is not a "spare wheel" that you pull out when in trouble, but it is a "steering wheel" that directs the right path throughout. Have you ever wonder why the rear mirror is small while the windshield is huge? Because the past is not as important as the future. All things in life are temporary. If going well, enjoy it, they will not last forever. If going wrong, don't worry, they can't last long either.
When God solves your problems, you have faith in His abilities; when God doesn't solve your problems, He has faith in your abilities! When you pray for others, God listens to you and blesses them, and sometimes, when you are safe and happy, remember that someone has prayed for you. WORRYING does not take away the troubles, it takes away today's PEACE"
This email came in time and enhance my spiritual knowledge especially the part where it reads as "When God doesn't answer your prayer, He has faith in your abilities". It has become clearer to me that not all prayers are answered and why.
I have been in the financial industry for almost 10 years now. I take delight in my work because I am able to assist others in owning their property. Although target was part of the KPI but importantly I must be accountable for my employer and the customers. As we know, money is rather a sensitive issue for most of us. In 08 which I have also shared in my blog that I received a rude shock right after my birthday. I received news that I will be summoned to court as the spouse of my customer took a legal action against us.
I read the summon over and over again. My name was repeatedly stated. I was angry because the statement given to the court was almost untrue! Apart from being angry, I was confused, sad and scared. I tried my best to recall the incident which took place 5-6 years ago. A lawyer was hired to represent us. We met and discuss the matter with our own legal assistants. To add salt into the wound, our own legal assistants did not have faith to win this case when I admitted that I did not translate the information on the insurance form entirely to the customer in cantonese. I was also disappointed in myself for failing to translate the entire form or at least refer the customer to a colleague who is fluent in chinese. This has then resulted a big mess and now I am wanted in court!
I kept recalling and think hard whether was there anything else I left out to safe me from this. But none. Then I asked "WHY ME?!" I didn't do any harm to anyone, I never dare to 'cheat' neither do I greed to get business. Why must this incident happened on me against hundreds of others who are also in the similar responsibility. Do everyone translate the entire form from english to chinese except me?! My heart was heavy and sad. I asked Lord to give me strength to overcome this challenge.
My heart was lifted a little when the lawyer commented "Look, I will try to negotiate for out of court settlement...and May Cy, you should not be to hard on yourself. Things like this do happen. I will do my best for you." I did not share this with many and especially not with my family. From that day onwards, I prayed that the case would be settled out of court and everyone will be happy with the outcome!
No news seems to be good news. Perhaps it has been setlled quietly. Then came a call 2 years later which was about a month plus ago. "Hi, May Cy, this is XX, from YY the law firm. Do you remember me?" Deep in my heart, I would like to reply, "No, I don't". Anyway, he told me to prepare to attend court in the next 3 weeks. I will be called as witness. I asked whether is there anyway or anything I can do to skip the court and compensate for my "mistake".
He replied, "Your mistake? What mistake? In my legal findings, I found not fault from you and that is why I want to fight this case." No fault from me? I certainly want the widow to be compensated, I replied. He assured that it will be a fair trial. A few hours later, I received another call from our own legal assistant. She commented that the lawyer must be very gungho to "fight" the case since chances are slim. My hope dashed again. In addition, she added on that she could not accompany me to court eventhough bosses would want someone else to be there. She asked me how? In my heart again, I was thinking that she must be joking! Since I get no morale support from her, her presence would not help at all. I just commented, "I will go myself. Do you think I have a choice?" Before our conversation ended, she said "OK a, you kow tim a?" Sigh...
3 weeks to go. I repeatedly pray for a miracle that the case would be settled out of court. 1 week to go, the lawyer called. Advised me to stay calm and we worked out our Q&A to be use in court. Amazingly this lawyer (is like an angel altho he is a heavy smoker) kept checking with me "May Cy, would you be comfortable if you give these answers to my questions?" I replied, "As long as it is the truth as I can remember, I am comfortable. Those items which I cannot recall, I do not want to say them in court because I am unsure. " XX commented, "Fair enough. But you should not feel guilty in anyway because you are not".
The day before the court proceeding, I am still hopeful for a miracle...but by 830am next morning I was sitting at the bench awaiting for the judge arrival. There were only 3 witnesses t be called. The 1st was the widow. What we watch in the movie on how the lawyers "drill" the witness are true. I heard my name repeatedly being blamed in the court by the widow and the prosecution lawyer. I thought to myself - I was being infamous that day for the wrong reason! I got nervous. My lawyer came to me during a break and told me to focus on the judge when I stand on the witness stand. Constantly he checked on me to ensure that I was ok.
The 1st witness took about 2 hours to finish her session. During the short break I sms my colleagues to pray for me. I need to stay calm and speak the truth - that will be my 2 main goals. When my turn came, I felt no trembling at all. I was full of confident...so full that at certain times, I question back those lawyers who wanted to "drill" me. Even the judge looked amazed when I corrected the prosecution lawyer's statement. My turn ended in less than 30 mins. I asked permission to leave. My lawyer commented, "Are you sure you do not want to stay till it ends?" I requested him to update myself when there is judgement made. I refused to stay and left. When I got into my car,I started trembling and thought how did I managed to be so calm and so full of energy until I could correct others. Was it not God who intervened?! I do not have other answer besides that His presence was with me.
After 2 weeks, I saw his name blinking in my handphone. I picked up. "May Cy, this is XX. I have great news! We have won!" I replied, "What? We won? means? the widow how?" "No worries, she will be compensated by 3rd party. It wasn't your responsibility to translate anything and the court finds NO FAULT with you"
HALLELUJAH! PRAISE BE TO GOD! AMEN! My tears well up and I could not thanked the Lord enough for such a great outcome and for the lawyer who believed in me and helped me through this...Now, lets' rewind a little. If my prayer to have outside court settlment, my name would not be 'cleared' at all...God did not answer that prayer of mine. Hallelujah! He put me through this challenge for 2-3 years and ensured that I come out of it victoriously! And He also remembered the widow...hallelujah...
This was really a test in my life to open my eyes and my heart that when He did not seem to answer, there is a strong reason behind...and He would never put us through a challenge that we would not be able to undertake cause He knows our abilities and He trust in our abilities. Ultimately, the world can be against you and it would not be a matter because when God is with you, you have the world! Keep on trusting Him and you won't go wrong....
On 27th June 09, I wrote in my blog about my days in Sheffield Hallam University and I ended with “shall continue soon…”. I have totally forgotten about it!
It was just a couple of days ago, I shared with my roommie that I have booked my ticket to London next month…we started to share our memories when we were in UK 12 years ago! She asked, “Would you go back to our hostel to have a look?” I would really love too…hopefully I can make it!
Anyway, we went on and tried to recall our housemates name…I failed terribly but my roommie’s memory is fantastic! Thanks for reminding me…cheers
To continue where I left since my roommie has been kind enough to refresh my memory, I ended with the usual days we have classes and the time we usually get back to our hostel. Yup, our daily meals were simple.
Breakfast would normally just a cup of hot chocolate or coffee for me. Then we would walk for about 20mins to attend our classes. By lunch, we either have our packed from home sandwich which consist 2 pieces of bread with a slice of thin ham (as thin as a paper size) and a few pieces of iceberg cabbage or a bar of snickers (if we were too lazy to make sandwich). A few occasion, we got tired of sandwich and chocolate bars. We would then spend GBP2.50 for fish and chips. One pack was good enough for 2 of us. Let me share a joke. One afternoon we went to the market to stock up our food. We were hungry and went to pack fish and chips. On the menu, there were a few types of fish for selection. We look through and noticed there was a type which was cheaper than usual. It was called roe and chips. Both of us did not know what the heck was roe. It turned out to be one huge deep fried fish eggs and chips! “Good things don’t come cheap, cheap things usually are not good!”
For dinner, since both of us were deprived from having many ingredients, we keep to 2-3 simple dishes. Usual recipes include chicken with orange sauce, fried iceberg cabbage and ketchup beans. You must be asking why always iceberg cabbage…well, one iceberg cabbage cost 35pence and it can lasts us one week. Other vegetables were quite costly though. Sometimes we did have broccoli and tomatoes. O, I just remembered. We also cooked tuna spaghetti…our own recipe discovered in hostel.
A few times, we had other uni-mates who dropped by our kitchen and made us some good dishes like bak kut teh, soup, roast chicken wings etc. Guess what, those who made good and complex dishes were guys! Gals just wanna keep things simple… :) drinking milk was also part of our diet while fruits were mainly nectarines and peaches. Of all the food that we have, maggi mee was our favourite especially tomyam and curry flavour! I recalled that we called home to ask our parents to courier food stuff over. Maggi mee was a must! Now to think of it, it was rather naïve of us since we were only there for 3 months + and we can’t seem to live without maggi mee. Mind you, we did concern about our hair loss after consuming many packs of maggi mee.. :(
For a couple of weeks, we had an Italian student in our hostel. His name is Enzo. He was studying English @ Sheffield Hallam. His food was even more simple then ours! I noticed that his usual meal was macaroni with green peas most of the time. Before he left, we had a makan party. We cooked some Malaysian dishes while Enzo made a few Italian dishes. I learned how to make cabonara spaghetti and mozzarella cheese with tomatoes and basil leave from Enzo. He is a friendly and funny guy…:) while we were saying our goodbyes, being gwailo he grabbed my roomie and gave her a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. That kiss surprised my roomie and gave a light scream! He got a shock and apologized immediately. When it came to my turn, he politely asked “Can I hug and kiss you?” hahahahaha….
I also learned how to bake. My roommie’s birthday was a round the corner but to buy a piece cake was rather expensive for a student and it was not enough to go around. While shopping for our weekly groceries, I saw a pack of ready made mixed flour for a cake. Why not?! I bought the ready mixed flour, a chocolate bar and a few strawberries. On that day, I brought all the equipments and stuff to my other uni-mates’ hostel. After an hour of mixing, stirring and baking…wa-la, the cake was done. Then I melted the chocolate bar and spread over the cake. Next was to decorate it with strawberries. I am very poor when it comes to decoration. I just don’t have the clue. I did my best with my imagination and of course the cake did not look like those from the shop! Tasted ok though…hahahaha..from then, many of my other uni-mates also baked cake for birthday and for fun!
At one time, I was so bored with our meals and I thought of making burgers my own. I bought a packed of minced beef. I chose the cheapest pack. I put some pepper, soya sauce, salt and mixed well with the meat. Mould the meat into 6 burger shape and slammed them into the oven. Then I got my other uni-mates and roommie to try them out. “Ting” and I took them out from the oven. The whole tray was filled with cooked minced beef! Gosh…my roomie gave up after a few bites and so did I. Lo and behold my other uni-mate finished it off! I told him to stop eating because it looked bad and tasted so-so. Anyway, I was glad he finished it and not gone to waste…
So, there were many trials and errors in the kitchen. I do not think the gwailo students were as adventurous like us when it comes to food. You should have seen the guys’ kitchen! They got all the types of herbs and ingredients as though they were opening an eatery at the hostel! Later I found out that they often had supper ie roast chicken wings (chicken wings are dirt cheap in UK) with a couple of beers. I only managed to join them once or twice. But not all guys were like them. My ground floor housemate, a guy, would only have rice with sausages for his main meal! He had this like almost everyday. Salute!
Eating out was a no-no for us. Mostly we packed fish and chips. Well, we did have lunch at the pub for one time and it cost us GBP2.50 for a meal. And lastly before we came home from UK, we had a big party where we invited our lecturers to join us. Everyone made a dish and it was a great evening as we took our food in the open during the end of summer in UK…:)
Here I am sharing mostly on our usual meals and some food happenings while I was in UK. Especially for Asian, food is the link to create a better relationship. If you noticed, most festive seasons are related to food and on the eve of the festivals, all family members are encouraged to be home to dine together. I love and am blessed to say “Live to Eat” is motto!
It was just a couple of days ago, I shared with my roommie that I have booked my ticket to London next month…we started to share our memories when we were in UK 12 years ago! She asked, “Would you go back to our hostel to have a look?” I would really love too…hopefully I can make it!
Anyway, we went on and tried to recall our housemates name…I failed terribly but my roommie’s memory is fantastic! Thanks for reminding me…cheers
To continue where I left since my roommie has been kind enough to refresh my memory, I ended with the usual days we have classes and the time we usually get back to our hostel. Yup, our daily meals were simple.
Breakfast would normally just a cup of hot chocolate or coffee for me. Then we would walk for about 20mins to attend our classes. By lunch, we either have our packed from home sandwich which consist 2 pieces of bread with a slice of thin ham (as thin as a paper size) and a few pieces of iceberg cabbage or a bar of snickers (if we were too lazy to make sandwich). A few occasion, we got tired of sandwich and chocolate bars. We would then spend GBP2.50 for fish and chips. One pack was good enough for 2 of us. Let me share a joke. One afternoon we went to the market to stock up our food. We were hungry and went to pack fish and chips. On the menu, there were a few types of fish for selection. We look through and noticed there was a type which was cheaper than usual. It was called roe and chips. Both of us did not know what the heck was roe. It turned out to be one huge deep fried fish eggs and chips! “Good things don’t come cheap, cheap things usually are not good!”
For dinner, since both of us were deprived from having many ingredients, we keep to 2-3 simple dishes. Usual recipes include chicken with orange sauce, fried iceberg cabbage and ketchup beans. You must be asking why always iceberg cabbage…well, one iceberg cabbage cost 35pence and it can lasts us one week. Other vegetables were quite costly though. Sometimes we did have broccoli and tomatoes. O, I just remembered. We also cooked tuna spaghetti…our own recipe discovered in hostel.
A few times, we had other uni-mates who dropped by our kitchen and made us some good dishes like bak kut teh, soup, roast chicken wings etc. Guess what, those who made good and complex dishes were guys! Gals just wanna keep things simple… :) drinking milk was also part of our diet while fruits were mainly nectarines and peaches. Of all the food that we have, maggi mee was our favourite especially tomyam and curry flavour! I recalled that we called home to ask our parents to courier food stuff over. Maggi mee was a must! Now to think of it, it was rather naïve of us since we were only there for 3 months + and we can’t seem to live without maggi mee. Mind you, we did concern about our hair loss after consuming many packs of maggi mee.. :(
For a couple of weeks, we had an Italian student in our hostel. His name is Enzo. He was studying English @ Sheffield Hallam. His food was even more simple then ours! I noticed that his usual meal was macaroni with green peas most of the time. Before he left, we had a makan party. We cooked some Malaysian dishes while Enzo made a few Italian dishes. I learned how to make cabonara spaghetti and mozzarella cheese with tomatoes and basil leave from Enzo. He is a friendly and funny guy…:) while we were saying our goodbyes, being gwailo he grabbed my roomie and gave her a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. That kiss surprised my roomie and gave a light scream! He got a shock and apologized immediately. When it came to my turn, he politely asked “Can I hug and kiss you?” hahahahaha….
I also learned how to bake. My roommie’s birthday was a round the corner but to buy a piece cake was rather expensive for a student and it was not enough to go around. While shopping for our weekly groceries, I saw a pack of ready made mixed flour for a cake. Why not?! I bought the ready mixed flour, a chocolate bar and a few strawberries. On that day, I brought all the equipments and stuff to my other uni-mates’ hostel. After an hour of mixing, stirring and baking…wa-la, the cake was done. Then I melted the chocolate bar and spread over the cake. Next was to decorate it with strawberries. I am very poor when it comes to decoration. I just don’t have the clue. I did my best with my imagination and of course the cake did not look like those from the shop! Tasted ok though…hahahaha..from then, many of my other uni-mates also baked cake for birthday and for fun!
At one time, I was so bored with our meals and I thought of making burgers my own. I bought a packed of minced beef. I chose the cheapest pack. I put some pepper, soya sauce, salt and mixed well with the meat. Mould the meat into 6 burger shape and slammed them into the oven. Then I got my other uni-mates and roommie to try them out. “Ting” and I took them out from the oven. The whole tray was filled with cooked minced beef! Gosh…my roomie gave up after a few bites and so did I. Lo and behold my other uni-mate finished it off! I told him to stop eating because it looked bad and tasted so-so. Anyway, I was glad he finished it and not gone to waste…
So, there were many trials and errors in the kitchen. I do not think the gwailo students were as adventurous like us when it comes to food. You should have seen the guys’ kitchen! They got all the types of herbs and ingredients as though they were opening an eatery at the hostel! Later I found out that they often had supper ie roast chicken wings (chicken wings are dirt cheap in UK) with a couple of beers. I only managed to join them once or twice. But not all guys were like them. My ground floor housemate, a guy, would only have rice with sausages for his main meal! He had this like almost everyday. Salute!
Eating out was a no-no for us. Mostly we packed fish and chips. Well, we did have lunch at the pub for one time and it cost us GBP2.50 for a meal. And lastly before we came home from UK, we had a big party where we invited our lecturers to join us. Everyone made a dish and it was a great evening as we took our food in the open during the end of summer in UK…:)
Here I am sharing mostly on our usual meals and some food happenings while I was in UK. Especially for Asian, food is the link to create a better relationship. If you noticed, most festive seasons are related to food and on the eve of the festivals, all family members are encouraged to be home to dine together. I love and am blessed to say “Live to Eat” is motto!
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Love cannot be subsituted
I have wanted to write since a couple of weeks ago. However I knew I wasn’t ready to talk about it. Somehow, I knew the time will come when I am ready-just like it always does.
When I was a young kid and was staying with Pak Pak, I was blessed with many pets. For a start, when my parents sent me after my full month to Pak Pak’s house, he bought a baby turtle (sui yu). I was told he bought it for me. Till date, I don’t know why a sui yi? Anyway, I had never been able to pet the sui yi nor any one, except Pak Pak because it bites your finger off! I heard once a neighbour’s kid puts his hand in the cage and ‘chomp’ ..the finger was gone! I have a feeling that this is just a myth told to prevent me from being funny with the sui yi…Well, you know that often the adults will create a lot of scary stories to teach the young ones…Like one stupid story I heard was, if you lazy to spill out the fruit seeds, the next day you will find a tree on your head!
Besides the sui yi, Pak Pak also had a lot of fishes (again there was a fish which bite everyone except its owner), tortoise, chicken (more of for our dinner than a pet tho), birds and a dog or at times dogs. I remember the first dog was bitch and black in colour, called Dolly. It was as big as me (I was 3-4 yrs old then) and taller than me when she stands up. I even had a photograph with her. She was loved by Pak Pak…
When I returned home and shifted to Kelana Jaya, I always pleaded with my parents to have a dog. My parents refused. To resort to our ‘itch’ for a pet, my brother and I then often catch some stray cats to play with and feed them, only when my parents were at work. Some days early in the morning my mom would be screaming away to chase away these cats (cause these cats knew that this house provides them food). After such episode, next scream will be targeting at my brother and me. Sigh…
Finally a breakthrough came. My neighbour’s bitch gave birth to a number of puppies. My parents agreed to adopt one of the puppies. My brother and I were so excited and we chose the eldest pup. It was dark brown male with a short tail. My brother gets to name the pup. His name was Ricky. I was 12 years old. Everyday when I returned from school, he was my first priority. Ricky had become more like a family member than a pet to us. My parents loved him like a son while I loved him like a little brother. No matter where we go, when we return, first thing was to look for out him and hug him. 20 hours a day, Ricky would be in the house rather than outside.
12 years passed quickly and Ricky reached its old age. Mom was offered another puppy. My parents decided to take another pup since Ricky was ‘retiring’ from its duty to safe guard our home. Kiwi was named by me because of his fur colour. Kiwi was born in a fruit orchard. During his pup’s years, he loved papaya, honeydew, or any fruits which is sweet except banana. Every morning when mom cuts fruits to prepare for her stall, kiwi gets a piece!
Our family loved Kiwi as much as Ricky and we taught Kiwi all the tricks we did for Ricky. Perhaps, Ricky helped a little by being a role model for Kiwi, Kiwi learned fast!hahahaha…Kiwi was more mischievous than Ricky. I had a lot of scars on my hands resulting from his playful bites. Kiwi loved to play catch. His eyes can tell you that he is ready for you to catch him – if you can…and when you are ready to give up (you can never outrun a four legged), he will pretend to slow down and drop down for you to ‘catch’ him! what a dog…he knew how to please people…
One more character of Kiwi was whenever he managed to escape out of the house, he would run for his life. The problem was he didn’t know how dangerous a moving vehicle is even until his last day of his life. Thus, we would be chasing after him and our hearts pounded like crazy whenever he crossed the roads! At times, I just closed my eyes and prayed I won’t hear any crashed…Gosh! Thanked God – Kiwi always successfully avoided accidents. Later, we found that the more we chase after him, the more confident he got and will go further and further. He knew we were right behind him. He also knew that when he is caught and once he reached home, he needs to dash to find cover because it would be canning time! Every time after a good whacking, we will open the gate – he wouldn’t dare to make a move…
But the whacking and pain were only a short memory for him. The next time when the gate was open, he will be back to his old habit again. Sigh…we were so fed up and we just cannot bare to see him crosses the road, we stopped chasing. Amazingly Kiwi did not venture too far when he didn’t see any of us behind him. He returned home after a few pee nearby. This time we shut the gate. He was frantically barking to be allowed in. After a few minutes, we opened the gate and kena whacked kow kow…if I recall correctly, after that incident Kiwi never dared to repeat his old habit..hehehe..we won finally!
Ricky was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after Kiwi was brought home. The Vet advised us to put him to sleep. I remember the last morning Ricky was with us. I went to work with a heavy heart after saying my last goodbye to Ricky. Later that day, my dad took him to the Vet and buried him at my cousin’s fruit orchard. My dad was very upset for one week. For the rest of the family, we felt sad but the pain was gone easily because Kiwi was with us. But not for my dad, and I could understand why he was so bitter about the loss for so long.
About a month ago, Kiwi lost a lot of weight and wasn’t eating well. We took him to the vet and were told he had a kidney failure. We were advised to admit him immediately to do away the toxin which was accumulating in his body. The vet mentioned that kidney failure is a norm for old dogs. With special diets and dialysis, Kiwi should be ok.
Not like Ricky, Kiwi had never spent a nite out side my house before. We did not have a choice and admitted him. Little did we know, that was his last day with us. The next morning we were informed that Kiwi did not survive. ..I was heartbroken because I was shocked by the news…I could not accept the fact for many days. I could not even mention that he was gone. This time, I truly understand how my dad felt when we lost Ricky.
Kiwi had been with us for 10 years. We were amazingly touched when we felt that he was grieving with us when my dad passed away in 2006. When my brother got married, Kiwi insisted to have a photo with my brother and his wife during tea ceremony…how? Kiwi just refused to barge in the center of my living room where the couple was serving tea! Once a photo was taken, he slowly walked away…he was not jus a dog but again a family member!
Every morning when I wake up, I feel some thing is not complete. It has been 22 years we have a dog. Many occasions, my friends asked me to adopt another pup. This time, I am reluctant. I am still missing Kiwi.
I was thinking what title I should put when I decided to write. Suddenly, “Love cannot be substituted” pop up. Well, I am not just referring to my love for my pets but rather for all those whom I am fond of. In 30 years of my life, I have lost quite a number of my family members. When I looked back, nothing so far was able to replace them in my life. Each of them has a special place in my heart. Even some day when I am in love or being married, the love I have for my loved ones is irreplaceable.
If I am just a human being who is created in His image has this concept in my life, our Father in heaven’s love is even much greater. He has even given His Son’s life for us in the name of Love. This proves His love for us is irreplaceable. Even right now, Jesus is with Him with all the angels, His love for us is still the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing can change His love for us.
I am blessed to be loved by Him. I am blessed to have my family members who loved me. I am blessed to have friends. I am blessed to have Ricky and Kiwi to love. They have all contributed in my life and they have a special place in my heart forever. Remember, He loves us dearly...
When I was a young kid and was staying with Pak Pak, I was blessed with many pets. For a start, when my parents sent me after my full month to Pak Pak’s house, he bought a baby turtle (sui yu). I was told he bought it for me. Till date, I don’t know why a sui yi? Anyway, I had never been able to pet the sui yi nor any one, except Pak Pak because it bites your finger off! I heard once a neighbour’s kid puts his hand in the cage and ‘chomp’ ..the finger was gone! I have a feeling that this is just a myth told to prevent me from being funny with the sui yi…Well, you know that often the adults will create a lot of scary stories to teach the young ones…Like one stupid story I heard was, if you lazy to spill out the fruit seeds, the next day you will find a tree on your head!
Besides the sui yi, Pak Pak also had a lot of fishes (again there was a fish which bite everyone except its owner), tortoise, chicken (more of for our dinner than a pet tho), birds and a dog or at times dogs. I remember the first dog was bitch and black in colour, called Dolly. It was as big as me (I was 3-4 yrs old then) and taller than me when she stands up. I even had a photograph with her. She was loved by Pak Pak…
When I returned home and shifted to Kelana Jaya, I always pleaded with my parents to have a dog. My parents refused. To resort to our ‘itch’ for a pet, my brother and I then often catch some stray cats to play with and feed them, only when my parents were at work. Some days early in the morning my mom would be screaming away to chase away these cats (cause these cats knew that this house provides them food). After such episode, next scream will be targeting at my brother and me. Sigh…
Finally a breakthrough came. My neighbour’s bitch gave birth to a number of puppies. My parents agreed to adopt one of the puppies. My brother and I were so excited and we chose the eldest pup. It was dark brown male with a short tail. My brother gets to name the pup. His name was Ricky. I was 12 years old. Everyday when I returned from school, he was my first priority. Ricky had become more like a family member than a pet to us. My parents loved him like a son while I loved him like a little brother. No matter where we go, when we return, first thing was to look for out him and hug him. 20 hours a day, Ricky would be in the house rather than outside.
12 years passed quickly and Ricky reached its old age. Mom was offered another puppy. My parents decided to take another pup since Ricky was ‘retiring’ from its duty to safe guard our home. Kiwi was named by me because of his fur colour. Kiwi was born in a fruit orchard. During his pup’s years, he loved papaya, honeydew, or any fruits which is sweet except banana. Every morning when mom cuts fruits to prepare for her stall, kiwi gets a piece!
Our family loved Kiwi as much as Ricky and we taught Kiwi all the tricks we did for Ricky. Perhaps, Ricky helped a little by being a role model for Kiwi, Kiwi learned fast!hahahaha…Kiwi was more mischievous than Ricky. I had a lot of scars on my hands resulting from his playful bites. Kiwi loved to play catch. His eyes can tell you that he is ready for you to catch him – if you can…and when you are ready to give up (you can never outrun a four legged), he will pretend to slow down and drop down for you to ‘catch’ him! what a dog…he knew how to please people…
One more character of Kiwi was whenever he managed to escape out of the house, he would run for his life. The problem was he didn’t know how dangerous a moving vehicle is even until his last day of his life. Thus, we would be chasing after him and our hearts pounded like crazy whenever he crossed the roads! At times, I just closed my eyes and prayed I won’t hear any crashed…Gosh! Thanked God – Kiwi always successfully avoided accidents. Later, we found that the more we chase after him, the more confident he got and will go further and further. He knew we were right behind him. He also knew that when he is caught and once he reached home, he needs to dash to find cover because it would be canning time! Every time after a good whacking, we will open the gate – he wouldn’t dare to make a move…
But the whacking and pain were only a short memory for him. The next time when the gate was open, he will be back to his old habit again. Sigh…we were so fed up and we just cannot bare to see him crosses the road, we stopped chasing. Amazingly Kiwi did not venture too far when he didn’t see any of us behind him. He returned home after a few pee nearby. This time we shut the gate. He was frantically barking to be allowed in. After a few minutes, we opened the gate and kena whacked kow kow…if I recall correctly, after that incident Kiwi never dared to repeat his old habit..hehehe..we won finally!
Ricky was diagnosed with cancer 6 months after Kiwi was brought home. The Vet advised us to put him to sleep. I remember the last morning Ricky was with us. I went to work with a heavy heart after saying my last goodbye to Ricky. Later that day, my dad took him to the Vet and buried him at my cousin’s fruit orchard. My dad was very upset for one week. For the rest of the family, we felt sad but the pain was gone easily because Kiwi was with us. But not for my dad, and I could understand why he was so bitter about the loss for so long.
About a month ago, Kiwi lost a lot of weight and wasn’t eating well. We took him to the vet and were told he had a kidney failure. We were advised to admit him immediately to do away the toxin which was accumulating in his body. The vet mentioned that kidney failure is a norm for old dogs. With special diets and dialysis, Kiwi should be ok.
Not like Ricky, Kiwi had never spent a nite out side my house before. We did not have a choice and admitted him. Little did we know, that was his last day with us. The next morning we were informed that Kiwi did not survive. ..I was heartbroken because I was shocked by the news…I could not accept the fact for many days. I could not even mention that he was gone. This time, I truly understand how my dad felt when we lost Ricky.
Kiwi had been with us for 10 years. We were amazingly touched when we felt that he was grieving with us when my dad passed away in 2006. When my brother got married, Kiwi insisted to have a photo with my brother and his wife during tea ceremony…how? Kiwi just refused to barge in the center of my living room where the couple was serving tea! Once a photo was taken, he slowly walked away…he was not jus a dog but again a family member!
Every morning when I wake up, I feel some thing is not complete. It has been 22 years we have a dog. Many occasions, my friends asked me to adopt another pup. This time, I am reluctant. I am still missing Kiwi.
I was thinking what title I should put when I decided to write. Suddenly, “Love cannot be substituted” pop up. Well, I am not just referring to my love for my pets but rather for all those whom I am fond of. In 30 years of my life, I have lost quite a number of my family members. When I looked back, nothing so far was able to replace them in my life. Each of them has a special place in my heart. Even some day when I am in love or being married, the love I have for my loved ones is irreplaceable.
If I am just a human being who is created in His image has this concept in my life, our Father in heaven’s love is even much greater. He has even given His Son’s life for us in the name of Love. This proves His love for us is irreplaceable. Even right now, Jesus is with Him with all the angels, His love for us is still the same yesterday, today and forever. Nothing can change His love for us.
I am blessed to be loved by Him. I am blessed to have my family members who loved me. I am blessed to have friends. I am blessed to have Ricky and Kiwi to love. They have all contributed in my life and they have a special place in my heart forever. Remember, He loves us dearly...
Saturday, April 17, 2010
When you least expected..
You know, our God often works in a most mysterious way..especially when you least expected, you will be surprised!
Never say never. When I was younger, I remember many occasions had thought me well - not to be 'extreme' nor be stubborn with my decision/statement/choice.
I 'vowed' not to be a SALES personnel. I took up accounting degree and ensure that I would be the someone who will work backroom. I do not like (still do not) sales personnel to tail me when I do my shopping until I need them... Behold, I build my career via sales and now I am coaching many others to do the same. I do not think I can settle with a backroom job, at least for now. In addition, I tailed others when they were 'shopping'....hmmm...mmmm
During my primary years, as usual we always have our own group of friends and we also have a few people that we dislike very much...O, come one, let's be real.. We got our gang and others got their own gang and we would be comparing with each other..whether for beauty, for stickers, for autograph book, for guys, for whatever. Once again, in the least expectation, I am now befriending my primary school 'enemy' for the last 14 years. I was her bridesmaid even! I confessed to her that I 'hated' her very much then...didn't know for what reason, just simply didn't like her face...hahaha..seriously, I cannot explained why and how I started playing with her but our friendship happened so naturally and it has been stronger over the years...
Never say never. When I was younger, I remember many occasions had thought me well - not to be 'extreme' nor be stubborn with my decision/statement/choice.
I 'vowed' not to be a SALES personnel. I took up accounting degree and ensure that I would be the someone who will work backroom. I do not like (still do not) sales personnel to tail me when I do my shopping until I need them... Behold, I build my career via sales and now I am coaching many others to do the same. I do not think I can settle with a backroom job, at least for now. In addition, I tailed others when they were 'shopping'....hmmm...mmmm
During my primary years, as usual we always have our own group of friends and we also have a few people that we dislike very much...O, come one, let's be real.. We got our gang and others got their own gang and we would be comparing with each other..whether for beauty, for stickers, for autograph book, for guys, for whatever. Once again, in the least expectation, I am now befriending my primary school 'enemy' for the last 14 years. I was her bridesmaid even! I confessed to her that I 'hated' her very much then...didn't know for what reason, just simply didn't like her face...hahaha..seriously, I cannot explained why and how I started playing with her but our friendship happened so naturally and it has been stronger over the years...
When I was a baby Christian, my perception of a pastor was that he/she should be a 'perfect' person while a church is a sanctuary, where the saints are jolly and holy people. Back then, I cannot understand why some speakers stressing that we, Christian should not be hypocrites and I also noted the Bible warn the same. Christians are happy people. They pray for everyone even they don't know you. Pastor is always be the best person for anyone. What do they mean by hypocrites..
A few years later, I was exposed to the truth. Things turned ugly. The 'saints' blamed the Pastor for various accusations during a service in the church! I was shocked to see how angry and the words that the people hurled against the pastor. I was also very concern on those guests who walked in or being invited to hear the word of God. What would be in their mind? Christians = hypocrites...The ugly scene went on for an hour before we prayed and departed. Can you believe it? We prayed!
As soon as I walked out of the place where I was 'born again', my tears flowed uncontrollably. My 'perfect sanctuary breaking into pieces.' How could this happened? Why must I be there at that time to hear all those ugly things? I usually don't attend midweek service but this time when I took the effort, all hell break loose. Soon enough, the church split. I prayed that the real truth to be exposed and to reunite the church.
It didn't happen. Along the way, I begin to understand the message. Christians are not perfect people. Pastors are not angels. Church is just a building. Jesus is perfect. Christianity = MY personal relationship with God, nothing to do with other human being. When our brother/sister or even pastor/bishop/elder makes mistake, we need to pray for his/her repentance not for revenge. Everyone makes mistake, therefore we need Jesus, whom God sent to die for us, sinners.
Leaving a church is not equivalent leaving our relationship with God. God has a plan for everyone. He knows where, when, how, why and what for us.
The only sanctuary we have where there will be no more tears, disease, sickness, etc is HEAVEN. When we, Christian, comes together, it is not about how many pax to determine how holy is the gathering or what type of building we must have, then only God will be with us. It's all about our hearts. God touches those who are faithful - I have seen mighty man cry when he is touched. It's Amazing Love that God is filling into our hearts to 'melt' us.
The more we think we are smart or we are so determined that our decision is unchallenge or we start to depend on our own or another human being or we start to be materialistic ie chasing after money and fogetting the Provider, holding on to our treasures tightly, chasing after fame etc - God will turn things around when you least expected it...
In short, God is God. You cannot outsmart His Majesty. We need Him. He wants us for Himself . He wants us to talk to Him. He wants us to depend on Him because He is our Father. He wants us to have faith that ALL THINGS IS POSSIBLE when He says "It is done, my child!"
Let's allow Him to guide us...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Problems
I have learned a valuable lesson today. When one shares about Christianity, it is not that being one makes our life easier nor will have lesser problems. Indeed by choosing to be one, it adds on more problems... Problems occur in our life. Even our Lord went thorugh many of them when He came 2000 over years ago.
A brother at church shared that problems:-
1. occur to direct us
2. occur to protect us
3. occur to make us stronger
4. occur to change us and to give us another chance
To direct us - the day when I started my first job, I had high hopes and dreams of what I can do and what I can become because it was a new set up company. I worked with a person whom I regarded as my big brother. From scratch, we eventually managed to build a solid foundation but things did not turn out the way I thought...I walked away with a painful heart not because I quit but because I have lost the friendship as well..
Today, I looked back..I thanked God that He has directed me away because for the last 9 years, I have learned even much more n have helped many to build their dream house...I have met many valuable individuals and some have even became my soulmates..I am not angry with 'big brother' n I hope he is well...
To protect us - i, myself have yet to experience on this factor...but i would not doubt that some times there are challenges that may have delayed us and evetually have protected us from some mishap
To make us stronger - by 12 years of age, i went through the deaths of my grandma and both granpas. it hurts. it did not stop..10 years later, my uncle whom was my pillar of life, left in a sudden..my world crashed..7 years later, when the doctor broke the news that my father had 4th stage of cancer (i was alone in the hospital),i was stronger..i was calm, able to be strong for my dad & mom, made many decisions that i never knew that i would have to..I looked back, somehow i feel it is His plan...both my uncle's family and my own are closer than we ever been..we pray for each other, we support each other, we loved one another, we are united in His name!
to change us and give us a 2nd chance - i don't like to study..i hated homeworks..my academic result from primary to Form 3 trials sucks..before SRP, my dad barred me from going anywhere during weekends including church..i pleaded just to allow me for an hour to attend church. my dad reluctantly agreed. my SRP result was ok..then i lacked in my studies again...every results was so-so..when STPM results were out, 99% of my mates got accepted into university except myself. I was embarrassed and I was left out...my chance in getting a degree is slim because I am from an average income family and could not afford twinning programmes..I ended in TAR college, i strived to obtain my CIMA...His plan was great..I was the 1st batch in TARC to be sent to Sheffield, UK for 'sandwich' degree and at that time my dad got his EPF and was able to support me...
Some times it doesn't make sense for the things that are happening around us...turn to God..He has all the answers..now, all we need is His grace..Amen!
A brother at church shared that problems:-
1. occur to direct us
2. occur to protect us
3. occur to make us stronger
4. occur to change us and to give us another chance
To direct us - the day when I started my first job, I had high hopes and dreams of what I can do and what I can become because it was a new set up company. I worked with a person whom I regarded as my big brother. From scratch, we eventually managed to build a solid foundation but things did not turn out the way I thought...I walked away with a painful heart not because I quit but because I have lost the friendship as well..
Today, I looked back..I thanked God that He has directed me away because for the last 9 years, I have learned even much more n have helped many to build their dream house...I have met many valuable individuals and some have even became my soulmates..I am not angry with 'big brother' n I hope he is well...
To protect us - i, myself have yet to experience on this factor...but i would not doubt that some times there are challenges that may have delayed us and evetually have protected us from some mishap
To make us stronger - by 12 years of age, i went through the deaths of my grandma and both granpas. it hurts. it did not stop..10 years later, my uncle whom was my pillar of life, left in a sudden..my world crashed..7 years later, when the doctor broke the news that my father had 4th stage of cancer (i was alone in the hospital),i was stronger..i was calm, able to be strong for my dad & mom, made many decisions that i never knew that i would have to..I looked back, somehow i feel it is His plan...both my uncle's family and my own are closer than we ever been..we pray for each other, we support each other, we loved one another, we are united in His name!
to change us and give us a 2nd chance - i don't like to study..i hated homeworks..my academic result from primary to Form 3 trials sucks..before SRP, my dad barred me from going anywhere during weekends including church..i pleaded just to allow me for an hour to attend church. my dad reluctantly agreed. my SRP result was ok..then i lacked in my studies again...every results was so-so..when STPM results were out, 99% of my mates got accepted into university except myself. I was embarrassed and I was left out...my chance in getting a degree is slim because I am from an average income family and could not afford twinning programmes..I ended in TAR college, i strived to obtain my CIMA...His plan was great..I was the 1st batch in TARC to be sent to Sheffield, UK for 'sandwich' degree and at that time my dad got his EPF and was able to support me...
Some times it doesn't make sense for the things that are happening around us...turn to God..He has all the answers..now, all we need is His grace..Amen!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Turning back the clock..No No No!
As usual, CNY period are the days where we often gather with our family, relatives and friends. We would share those memories and the expriences that we went through for the past 364 days and believe it or not being Asian, we would try to outdo each other on whose life is worse.
Example, "Wa, you don't believe how much I have went through......" says one relative. The other would reply " No No no, if you have been in MY shoes, you would know that I had been to 'hell' and return..." or "My son a, he a, very forgetful....your son very goood..." while the other will reply "No, you don't know, your son consider filial, my one a..aiyo, I also don't bother much...."
Gosh, simply nothing better to say. Why can't we learn to share good news and fun times when we meet rather than conversation which are meaningless but pure gossips...I surely hope I would not be sucked into these kinda conversation...I HOPE...;p
Besides the above, we would also remember our loved ones who had passed on. Looking back, we shared and laughed about the habits and the way they had lived. I strongly agreed that in celebration like these, we should talk about our loved ones whom had passed. In this manner, the younger ones get to know a little and we remember that they, played a part in our lives.
Sometimes when I am alone and with the radio playing the oldies (not too long ago songs..ehem..:p) the memories of the past just flash through my mind. I received a comment from a friend. She is suprised how I could remember stuff back when I was 5 years old. Yup, I do. I remember how I like to suck my bottle even when I was 5...hehehehe....and also of cos some experiences during my primary, secondary, 6th form, college, uni days etc.
I guess the expriences we go through whether good or bad, they shape our lives and how we turn out today. At times, we did not have choice of certain situations that happened, we made mistakes, we laughed, we cried, we yelled, we learned, we prayed, we smiled, we loved, we fought, we chuckled etc...Whatever it is, we are growing up and moving from one stage of life to another.
If there is a wish to turn back the clock, NO would be my definate answer. Not that my life have been sucked. There were many many great times in the past. However, I am glad I have been through it all and I am more eager to look FORWARD and store up more memories, learn more about life, laugh even more and share loads to many others including to those I have yet to meet...I guess this is far more exciting than turning back!
With God, it doesn't matter how many more years but making the years be meaningful to ourselves and to others should be our goal. God has given the law of gravity. Anything that goes up, will come down and things that went down shall go up!Nothing in life is too difficult only if we trust in Him...Have a great year and moving on!!! :)
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