2010 is a year where I gained many experiences and full of activities.
1st month of 2010, it was already the start of a challenging year with changes in my work environment. I didn't understand why the good ones were taken away and left all the 'below the water' to myself. What have I done wrong? Frankly, I was not ready to let go the success and to start all over again. Left with no choice, I moved on with a grudge.
Months passed. God never fails to remember what was disturbing me. When I looked back e past few months and the progress of my portfolios, they amazed me. A brother then shared with me that perhaps, this arrangement was purposely made as such for me. I must recognised and focus on the +ve side ie to instill re-building skills. Don't hold on to what I have lost, but what I can gain. I begun to understand.
In that 1st quarter, not only did God open my eyes on re-building skills, I also learned the power of prayer especially from my family members. I have the tendency of being shy to ask my own mom to pray for me. Probably, I was not comfortable in telling her what I wanted or my problems. Something prompted my heart. My mom has been praying for others. Why do I need to choose who to pray for me but rather to trust and be glad that I have my mom to pray for me ie her daughter?! And I finally did asked mom to pray. God never fails. He heard and He provided! Halleluja...
If you have read my blog earlier, I was even called to court. Once again, I learned patient and God will know what's best for us and when will be the perfect timing! I am so glad 2010 has brought a sweet end to this case.
I made many travels in 2010. All journeys made whether they were for my work or for leisure, I thanked God for them. I was able to learn, to share, to capture the sweet memories, to experience etc. These will be the treasures in my heart which I will be carrying throughout my lifetime.
As for my spiritual walk, 2010 is a year which I have to stop being a 'baby'. I grew up and did away the 'milk' to take on 'solid food'. To share His goodness is wonderful. To witness the 'seed' which I have been sowing to become a 'sprout', is breath-taking! Aside from this, I was assigned a new task in my church. A task which I never thought I could. Lo and behold in 2010, He said "It's time". I took up the task and I must confess that when God claimed that you are ready, He will be with you and ensure you will not run dry! After a few tries, I thought of giving up the task and eventho I knew God has been equipping me. I did not think I was ready and was not comfortable. To challenge God it rather a stupid move. For some dads, when a child is ready to give up, either dad will agree or dad will scold the child for being weak or dad will try his best to convince the child. For our Father in Heaven, He made every tries to be better and better and made sure I am being informed - until there is no way for me to say, "I am not ready!" He is an awesome God that many times, you can never able to predict His move.
For 2010, it is or going to be 'was' a year that it is hard to forget. I will carry all the good memories, good experiences, lessons learned to cross over to 2011. I shall leave behind the 'chains and anchors' that hold me down. Thank you, Lord for 2010...2011, here I come!
Monday, December 27, 2010
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Knowing, Believing, Trusting & Faith
A few months ago, I started to chair my church service. Being behind the pulpit makes me shiver eventhough I have done these for some times.
Preparation is easy. To find a topic for sharing, to speak and to pray in front of every member, I find it most difficult. No matter how much I have prepared and written on my paper on that day, my voice could be heard shaking. To encourage me, my cousin always gave me a pat on my back at the end of the session. Still, it didn't help much.
I was away for 2 weeks in October. While boarding the 16 hours flight, I thought to myself, it was time to quit. I had also been thinking hard what to say to the elders so that they won't have any rooms to hold me back from quiting. Adamant with my decision, all I was waiting was timing.
When I returned, immediately the next weekend I headed to PD with mom for church camp. I was super relief to find out that I was not involved in any of the sessions. Phew...and yahoo!!! The camp was great until the last session before we depart for KL. We were asked to share on our camp experience. When mom gave her testimony, I got a shock!She has an aspiration for me and openly shared with everyone...something I would not dare to dream...
What she said, bothered me a lot until I lost track of my plan when to break the news to the elders. Soon I got my notification to chair another church service. 4 words appeared in my mind - Know, Believe, Trust & Faith. Seems that they have almost similar meaning.
What to share on these 4 words? What do they actually mean? I googled them. To cut things short, know is with a fact, believe is something you convince yourself with/without a fact, trust is something stronger than believing - it helps you to have an easier life (when you trust someone, you would not spend time to check on him/her) and lastly faith - is something which is unseen and yet you believe. Usually when you trust someone, you have the faith in him/her.
Simply this statement came into my mind, you know there is an existence of God, you may or may not believe in Him. Even when you know and believe there is a God, you may not trust Him and/or have faith that He listens to you or answers your prayer. Thus these 4 words have their own meanings.
One night unsually I logged on to FB early of the night. I saw my cousin in Perth was online (also unsual). We chat. Finally, I shared with her that I decided to quit chairing service. She asked why. Simply I told her I am unfit as I am not a savvy person in bible plus my 'public speaking' sucks! Also I do not spend as much time as others in church activities and my involvement is negligible. She continued to probe me especially why does my voice shakes when I am behind the pulpit. I explained "It is because I am such a young fella sharing God's words to those who are so senior and some are intellectuals in theology, some are on fire for God...made me feel so small... :( "
She said "Stop". She then said "Didn't you know that God often use those who thinks they are insignificant to do His works? Read the bible"..."You knew that. Why aren't you believing that He is using you to speak to those who are in need to hear. Have trust and faith in Him that you will be able to handle this well. Stop thinking of quiting. Start believing"
Often we know what to say how to say. However, we also often think that what we say only applies to others and not for ourselves. What my cousin said is true for all of us. God never looked down on us eventhough we have our own shortfalls. He never wanted us to feel small either. When we do, we are belittling His creation.
Whatever we are going through now, whether it is a tough experience, a bad experience, a cross road - it has been arranged. It is up to us to decide whether we would want to believe that we can get through it and have the trust & faith in Him!Now, I need to practise more... :)
Preparation is easy. To find a topic for sharing, to speak and to pray in front of every member, I find it most difficult. No matter how much I have prepared and written on my paper on that day, my voice could be heard shaking. To encourage me, my cousin always gave me a pat on my back at the end of the session. Still, it didn't help much.
I was away for 2 weeks in October. While boarding the 16 hours flight, I thought to myself, it was time to quit. I had also been thinking hard what to say to the elders so that they won't have any rooms to hold me back from quiting. Adamant with my decision, all I was waiting was timing.
When I returned, immediately the next weekend I headed to PD with mom for church camp. I was super relief to find out that I was not involved in any of the sessions. Phew...and yahoo!!! The camp was great until the last session before we depart for KL. We were asked to share on our camp experience. When mom gave her testimony, I got a shock!She has an aspiration for me and openly shared with everyone...something I would not dare to dream...
What she said, bothered me a lot until I lost track of my plan when to break the news to the elders. Soon I got my notification to chair another church service. 4 words appeared in my mind - Know, Believe, Trust & Faith. Seems that they have almost similar meaning.
What to share on these 4 words? What do they actually mean? I googled them. To cut things short, know is with a fact, believe is something you convince yourself with/without a fact, trust is something stronger than believing - it helps you to have an easier life (when you trust someone, you would not spend time to check on him/her) and lastly faith - is something which is unseen and yet you believe. Usually when you trust someone, you have the faith in him/her.
Simply this statement came into my mind, you know there is an existence of God, you may or may not believe in Him. Even when you know and believe there is a God, you may not trust Him and/or have faith that He listens to you or answers your prayer. Thus these 4 words have their own meanings.
One night unsually I logged on to FB early of the night. I saw my cousin in Perth was online (also unsual). We chat. Finally, I shared with her that I decided to quit chairing service. She asked why. Simply I told her I am unfit as I am not a savvy person in bible plus my 'public speaking' sucks! Also I do not spend as much time as others in church activities and my involvement is negligible. She continued to probe me especially why does my voice shakes when I am behind the pulpit. I explained "It is because I am such a young fella sharing God's words to those who are so senior and some are intellectuals in theology, some are on fire for God...made me feel so small... :( "
She said "Stop". She then said "Didn't you know that God often use those who thinks they are insignificant to do His works? Read the bible"..."You knew that. Why aren't you believing that He is using you to speak to those who are in need to hear. Have trust and faith in Him that you will be able to handle this well. Stop thinking of quiting. Start believing"
Often we know what to say how to say. However, we also often think that what we say only applies to others and not for ourselves. What my cousin said is true for all of us. God never looked down on us eventhough we have our own shortfalls. He never wanted us to feel small either. When we do, we are belittling His creation.
Whatever we are going through now, whether it is a tough experience, a bad experience, a cross road - it has been arranged. It is up to us to decide whether we would want to believe that we can get through it and have the trust & faith in Him!Now, I need to practise more... :)
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