2008

A few more days and we are entering into a brand new year…perhaps this will be my last blog for year 2008.

2008 passes-by tremendously fast and at times I felt worried because it seems like I am running after time…beginning of the year we have a restructuring in our division and I am posted to HQ. I thought I was ready to face any challenges and I also prepared myself for those things I thought I would have a handful! Well, it did not turn out the way I thought it was suppose to…and all the effort of ‘preparation’ never been put to use whereas many situations happened unpredictably. As the Chinese saying, “Let heaven predicts your next step rather than your own selves”…how true!

In this new position, I have a lot of exposure especially in people management. Certain times I wished I can return to be a junior officer to ‘escape’ from responsibility rather than where I am. My ex-boss used to say “A popular manager won’t make him/her a good manager”…I somewhat disagree with the statement. I think it should be…”A ‘yes’ manager won’t make him/her a good manager”…Well, the word “NO” is absolutely a very heavy word to utter though it’s just 2 alphabets compare to 3 in a ‘yes’…but most of the time there are not many options for us and we always hope that our teams would understand someday – somehow…to go through these challenging episodes I kept reminding myself, it’s all about work – nothing personal. I wonder if the other party would have the same thought…

Then a rude shock came right after my birthday. All these while I thought I am just trying my best to do whatever I can for everyone. Unfortunately, people have otherwise opinion on my action and now I am put to blame for their loss. It is disheartening and depressing. Sometimes I wondered whether I really had made an error and why not just accept the blame to stop the whole episode. However in one of the Sunday sermon, a verse in the bible helps. It says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visit us” (1Peter 2:12).

2008 was not just about challenges and hard times. I had my best travel so far which I have been planning for a long time. I had great time with my friends and my family. I met up with some of my old friends and I also made new friends…I had the opportunity to taste fantastic food!

This Christmas brings a lot of good times…on the eve; my family had dinner at Euro Deli. On Christmas Day, we had great lunch with my best pals and their family…so many babies at one time in my house - brought a lot of joy! By night, we headed to Jaycy’s home where I looked forward to every year. Those days, Janet would be the host before she migrated to Perth and if I remember correctly, we never missed any of her invitations neither Jaycy’s. I particularly loved during the dinner is the chatting…although my job requires me to talk a lot but when I am at home with my family, I am more a listener…and I simply enjoy it! Not to forget boozing with my cousins is another fun part…hahahaha…I don’t know how to describe their expression but they definitely make me laugh…like when I was small how they made funny faces to tickle me! If I am given a choice, I preferred those gatherings we had when I was younger - when every family members are still around…ie Marcos, 4th sis-in-law, my father (all who are with the Lord now) and also my cousins Janet & her family in Perth and Allan…I miss them…

The next day, we had BBQ session with my team from JT together with 2 “special” guests. We were blessed with good and rich food. I believe everyone had a good time and Kiwi too…On Saturday, I made a journey to Seremban with boss and Ling to attend Karen’s wedding…and Sunday after church, we headed to an elderly aunty’s house. I am amazed with this aunty. She is going to be 79 next year and she invited 13 of us for Christmas lunch! She made fried mee, sui kao, vegetable, fried fish balls, chicken, pot pies, cheese cake, jello and drinks with the help of a maid…the best part was when she has prepared all the food for us, she entertained us and herself by singing karaoke!!! She operates the vcd and the hi-fi herself…she chose the cds and her favourite songs herself without any help or even a pair of spectacles…I think she enjoyed herself very much…I thanked God for her exemplary life…she lost her husband and her son…her daughters are in overseas and she stays alone with a maid. Yet she maintains a joyful life and less bother of how people may see her…Hallelujah! What a joy to know her…

No matter where or how the situations will turn out to be, I have to convince myself that I should not be looking backwards and only have to focus in moving forward. I trust that God will lead me through every hurdle and even if I fall I have Him to hold me and put my feet back on solid ground…and if someday I could be like my church aunty who is care-free and joyful despite so many adversities, it would be a blessing! I am going to work towards that…Have a Great and Blessed 2009!

Great dishes on Christmas Day

Highlight of the Day - Turkey

At Jaycy's house

Guess who's the real chef?

"yummm, I smell bone in here..."

Ribs and Wings..yummy

BBQ session

Thanksgiving

Hmm…when comes Dec, we often look forward to Christmas and we never knew when is Thanksgiving!

The word “Thanksgiving” is powerful enough to remind us of God’s blessings given unto us and that we should be grateful in whatever circumstances we are facing.

It has been 20 years since I came to know Christ and each time I looked back on the day which I made the decision to accept Him, I have not regretted and in fact I don’t or wouldn’t know what I will do or would become without Him all these years. Simply with this statement, I should and always give thanks unto Him for being a true friend to me...and unconditionally…

It has been a terrible start of Dec…we always say, when thing get jinx, it will be jinx all the way…it is very disheartening to know that all the time we thought we are doing good things or helping someone would turned out be a total wrong! Not only that the people are not appreciative…they turned against you and blame you for doing things which are hurting them! Sounds familiar?

The last time I felt such heaviness in my heart was almost a decade ago. That time it only lasted 2 days and no physical pain noted. Perhaps I was 10 years younger then…This time it lasted almost a week and I really felt the pain in my heart…guess its due to lack of sleep and I have been thinking a lot! I was scared that I may collapse anytime; I tested my heart by going to gym and did the treadmill for an hour…I survived …hallelujah! I asked God to lead me as I sincerely don’t know what else to do and I was seriously over exhausted…and graciously He begun to move each of the jigsaw into its place…although the jigsaw puzzle is yet to be completed…but I felt so much lighter…I need to rely on Him as I know that these circumstances which I am facing may or may not turn out the way I wanted…”FAITH” is the word to describe how I am suppose to handle them…

I learned that we do not have control over many things in our life. The only thing we could control is our own self whether in terms of feelings or actions…and God never fails to give us a choice to choose…Funny thing is, most of the time we choose the wrong path…but at the end when we realize we are heading towards ‘disaster’ we finally look upon Him for direction! And He will graciously lead us despite of our shortcomings…I often wonder for those who are free thinker…to whom they will seek help from when there are times where they are beyond human intervention…I am blessed that I have Jesus!!! Amen…

2 days ago, we celebrated my mom’s birthday together with SAL’s mom. They both share the same date ie 9th Dec…they have been friends too since I knew SAL 5 yrs ago…during the lunch, we captured some shots and there were a photo of my mom and SAL’s mom and a photo of SAL and myself…when I looked at these 2 photos, I made a comment…”SAL, this is how we looked like now…in 20 yrs time, will we look like our moms?”. We laughed out loud until we teared a lil… Aunty Soo then commented, “You girls should give thanks to the Lord if you are as healthy as us in 20 yrs time” and she gave a laugh…How true!!!

Well, does anyone know when Thanksgiving Day is? I think I should pay more attention to this wonderful Day moving forward…

“You are my strength when I am weak; You are the treasure that I seek: You are my all in all; Seeking You as precious jewel; Lord to give up I’d be a fool; You are my all in all;”

It's November!

It’s the time of the year when we used to be so broke continuously until we received our bonus in March or April the following year…only if we have bonus…sigh. Well, it’s not yet Christmas though...it’s November! Nope, we don’t celebrate early Christmas…we celebrate birthdays…

Yes, every November month, we have birthdays to celebrate! Starting with Yip on 7th…then myself on 13th, SAL on 21st and KSL on 27th…if you noticed our birthday are 7-8 days apart i.e. a week…A few years ago, we were still junior officers and with our income then, having dinner at Chilli’s or TGIF would be luxurious…

Well, we must confess that we girls were a little selfish (WMC, SAL and KSL)...for Yip’s birthday we will just settled with him a piece of cake and our wishes from the bottom of our heart…when it comes to ours…boy, we had the most fantastic dinners which can cause a big ‘hole’ to our wallet and pressies as well…we were in debts by end of Nov and we didn’t care as we know we can use our bonus to cover the ‘hole’ later…how spoilt we were?!

The first year when we found out that our birthday is a week apart, we celebrated 3 times…each week, we had different luxurious restaurant to spoil ourselves…phew! We realized soon that the ‘hole’ was too big for us…we then learned to combined our 3 celebrations into one mega celebration! Second year onward, we did just that…but the ‘hole’ in our wallet did not really shrink…we spent on other things...hahaha...

I remember well for one year, we had our celebration with Yew at the Hardrock Café Restaurant…we had great nite out…when we left the restaurant, it was pouring…to get to the carpark, we had to cross over the swimming pool area where there is no shelter…as we walked back to the carpark, myself and SAL brave the rain to reach our car and we were wet! But then we did not realize that KSL and Yew weren’t behind us…we waited for 15mins and no sight of them…finally they turned up and told us they explored an alternate route via the kitchen and they were almost being locked out….hahaha…after all their adventure, they were still wet like us!

The following day, we had made plans to visit Meleka and SAL’s hometown in Rembau…Because of the rain, SAL was down with a flu, KSL and myself were down with fever…yet, we still go ahead with the trip…Yew was the driver and he was fine…sigh…throughout the journey to Melaka, we slept…our first stop was A Famosa…the place didn’t excite us…probably because we were so sick and no mood…we took an ice cream despite that of our fever to cheer ourselves up but didn’t really work… :(

By nite, we had dinner at the Portugese’s settlement…had seafood and baked crab…could hardly taste the food…finally, we send KSL to her parent’s home and we moved on SAL’s home in Rembau…we slept in the hall together…I popped in a panadol, SAL popped in a flu pill and we went silent within 1-2 minutes…My guess was KSL popped in pills as well just like us too…suddenly, myself and SAL were awaken in the middle of the nite by Yew’s snoring…gosh, it was like a train charging down the track…we decided to abandon him in the hall and slept in the room…hahahaha…this is how we treated a friend!

Depsite we were so sick, we still 'die die' made the trip and at the end, we needed medication...this was how 'powderful' we were!

Why did I mention that we were broke from Nov till March?! Well, the spending spree wasn’t just to cater for our birthdays…Nov – Jan are the best months for weddings and those years most of our colleagues and friends were going thru ‘tow fa wan’ (cherry blossom years – “the in love period”) one after another was getting married like a ‘contagious disease’…then we have Christmas which we just can’t hold ourselves back from buying pressies for our loved ones and friends…then comes the CNY’s shopping spree and ang pows for our elders…so, those 4 months we practically digging and digging ‘hole’ to our wallet…sigh…

But no matter how bad our debts were…we had fun and we had the best time with each other…now that we can afford good dinners, many good nights out and fantastic pressies…we do not have the opportunity to do such ‘powderful’ things again…SAL is now happily married with a kid and one more on the way soon J …KSL is in Melbourne with her darling and Yew...hardly hear from him except recently he invited myself for his wedding…Myself? I am happy with where I am and also still very in touch with my good pals…as well as I found new friends…a beginning of a new chapter…

Well, I hear a lot from people that they want to save money for this and that…and up to the point whereby they keep away from outings or spoiling themselves once in a while…but when you miss the opportunity of having fun…you just missed it! In no way the money we managed to save can bring back the chance of having a great time with friends...things just keep on happening and we just don’t know where, when or what we will end up with…how much money do we think is enough? This question I guess many would not have an answer as it changes often than not…Probably the question should be how many chance I want to miss for having a good time which I deserve!

Happy birthday to Yip, SAL, KSL, Estee, Kim, YSC …Blessed Marriage to Yew, Jack, William...

At the Altar...

Last Friday was a day where things just did not turn out to be the way which I thought they should be…

A “hope” which I have been fighting and made believe that it will be materialized soon would suddenly turned to be a dead end…bringing such news to a friend who trusted in me is simply terrible! I admit that I was not strong enough to tell her verbally and sent a sms instead…every words typed were like cuts to the heart …the pain while waiting for the reply was like an open wound…it came and although the bad news was well received, I was still shameful for this “defeat”! I was so sure that I will have it but…

While trying to accept this defeat, the young ones whom I have so much hope in them turned ‘ugly’ and naïve…a simple decision to make and they made it complicated…worst, none admitted their own immature thinking…I am thinking would my plans for them would be another bad choice after all…I was lost!!!

That day was not merciful…before I left office to attend a customer’s dinner, I was informed that my fellow southern “comrade’s” mother passed away after 2 months of suffering from stomach cancer…I sms to send my deepest condolences and my support for her and family…she thanked me and ended the sms with these words “I am heading to spore to get her…very sad”…my heart instantly broke…

At the dinner, though the whole team turned up…I hardly have the taste for the lobsters and oysters…tried so hard to control my drink…but each glass I gulped actually lessen the pain and took away my thoughts…4 glasses quickly became 5 then 6 then 7 and I lost count…after the final glass I started to tear and I could hardly opened my eyes…I was chauffeur to the toilet…then to my car and finally after all the commotion, I ended in my colleague’s house…throughout I vomited uncontrollably…I also heard a lot of voices..”Carry her…” “Why? We r here with you”…”don’t be a silly girl”…”It’s OK we r with you..”…”Let her rest..”…”take her home”…I was even more confused then but…One voice was clear…”Be strong for the Lord is with you”

I managed to get up and got home in the middle of the night…I had a busy and packed Saturday so that I won’t have time to think about Friday’s episodes…I woke up at 1030 and ran my errands, had tea with my best pal, went to hike TTDI’s forest reserved and finally to the Vienna Operetta Orchestra…I immediately ‘dropped dead’ when I reached home at 130am.

At church today, it was my turn to be in charged of the chorus board…as we sang, I was asking for healing…tears still streamed down as I was so heartbroken about the news which I had to break…then during the service, Pastor spoke “we often cry for our loss instead of our sin” …made me realized that I did not turn to Him when things got ugly but had opted for the drinks and even with that I am still not repenting for being drunk instead crying out to God about my defeat! How stupid I am?! I walked up to the altar, asked for forgiveness and prayed…Pastor prayed with me…

I know that - the Altar is the place to be and God is the answer…I am assured that there will be a new beginning in any and every of the situations which we think that they are ended…and I need to learn to be patient…He has promised! Amen...

“Turn to us Lord and touch us; Make us strong in Your might; Overcome our weakness, that we could stand up and fight…”

Tracking...

Well, it has been a while since I update the blog. Firstly, I am so touched to receive the comments from my friends and my family on my blog on “A tribute to the man who cried for me...”. Thanks!

Oct is coming to an end. Today we are celebrating Deepavali and it is nice to have a break!

Last weekend, a group of us headed to Cameron Highlands for a night stay. The last time I have been there were about 2-3 years ago. Nothing much has changed. However one thing which is quite obvious was the temperature, it was not as low as before. Sigh…we humans are terrible...we opt for development over protecting the nature…

The whole trip was “Awesome” as Kennedy puts it...but I particularly enjoyed the jungle tracking most. We started the track at about 430pm on the day we arrived...we were enthusiastic about this and frankly, none of us have been through this track in Cameron before…so, we don’t know where or what is ahead of us neither where’s the end...we played by ear and just walked...hopefully to see an end…

I was amazed to have the girls like Lisa, Louisa & Tze Yin whom are those who prefer beauty over adventure were as sporting as us…also Kar Mun whom hurt her knees when she returned from Italy a couple of weeks ago...still hanging tough and followed us closely behind…I am also proud of Jeff and David for staying behind with Kar Mun although they can choose not to!

The track seems to be unexplored for some time and we didn’t see anyone joining us on the track...it was just the 12 of us as we walked down hill…it was thrilling! The track was slippery, muddy and challenging…we have to climb over or squeeze through the fallen trunks...we also came across some small water falls along the way...some of us slipped and fell along the way…half way through, it poured heavily and we still continued on…the rain then stopped…before we get dry, it poured again..(it was more than a decade since I enjoyed myself in the rain!) Great sceneries were spotted along the way…they were breathtaking views…Awesome God’s creations…

After an hour plus, 11 of us decided to turn back since we were unsure how far to go neither will there be an end! Kennedy was the odd one out and suggested that we take a cab when we reach foothill…a cab in Cameron?? Nah!!!

We managed to reach our base about 630pm..one word describes our feeling then...EXHAUSTED! The following day, most of our legs were aching…but none regretted the tracking! We can’t stopped sharing the feelings that we had when we were on the track...we laughed, we knew the experiences we had was worth the while though it was tough!!! We hope to do it again someday soon…

This track has further reminded me about one’s life…God never promised us that our life would be an easy path…remember when we were born, we cried out loud! Life is definitely an ‘adventure’ for us...none of us would know what is ahead neither the end…there will be times that we need to climb over challenges, squeeze through the ‘difficulties’, surprises, exhausted, slip and fall…pain for loss, enjoyment of successes, feeling of joy and love from the people surrounding us…All these will be part of us…

Aileen’s father was hospitalized a month ago from a fall...he was in coma. The 1st time I saw him in ICU, the sight was similar to 10 years ago when Marcos was lying in Assunta. We did not give up and trusted God for miracle. I told myself, it didn’t matter what had happened 10 years ago...he will be a testimony for his family...God is merciful, he woke up in a couple of days and after a month plus he is now at home, recovering! Hallelujah…praise God!

Mom’s second check-up was encouraging...her white blood cells count is improving and I believe the next check-up would be the last for God will completely heal her!!! Amen…Jaycy’s received good news from her doc that her growth on her breast is non cancerous!! Praise God...Amen…

Many said we are heading into “great depression” as our global economy is in turmoil…some of us are loosing quite a fair bit in our investments and we are already complaining and worrying so much…but come to think of it, we should look at those whom have lost their job because of this economic crisis...those whom have to cut their food intake to ensure they can survive through this challenging times…those whom are unable to handle this crisis pressure and take their own life…I must say that we at times should look at things in a wider perspective rather selfishly and blame everyone for our own self lost!

Life is definitely a challenging one…and I know that I must rely on God to get through it…no matter how tough or impossible or how painful it can be...He will ensure that I will be able to overcome and be strong! The path maybe winding, muddy, slippery, seems to have no end but the day when I am called home, I can say “I am exhausted but I have no regrets in this journey…”

A tribute to the man who cried for me...

Oct 2008 will be a decade since Ah Pak went away to be with the Lord...how time has passed. However every memory of him is still fresh in my mind and I am not intending to loose them.

I was 'baby-sitted' by my father's elder brother and his wife when I was 1 month old. I came back to join my own family when I was age 6. In that 6 years, I thought my uncle and my aunty were my parents whereas my parents were my uncle and aunty. I fondly called my uncle, Pak Pak while my aunty as Ma Ma later changed to Ah Leong as my other aunties were advising me to be sensitive to my own mom...Later, my cousins gave Pak Pak an english name ie Marcos while Ah Leong as Imelda since Pak Pak has some similarity to Marcos, the Philipines PM then..

I remember that those days when i stayed with Marcos and Imelda everyday without failed I will be anxiously waiting for him to return from work. A glass of tea and an innocent look, hoping that for a ride on his kapchai..Some evenings worked, some didn't...hahaha..but I never gave up the same old act until I was too big to ride in front of it...

By night, "Incredible Hulk" would be in full action, disturbing him from reading the newspaper...at times, he got so irritated and pinned the lil "green thing" down for good...Thereafter a loud cry can be heard for justice to be done. Immediatley 3 angels (my cousins Judy/ Janet/ Jaycy) will come from nowhere for my rescue. Well, actually they were just trying to shut me up asap!!! When the 'angels' failed, Imelda would always managed to do the job..Marcos would then have his wicked laugh...I hated the laughter so "Incredible Hulk" jumped back on his chest and snatched his reading glasses! Before he could retaliate, Imelda gave out sterned warning to stop the episode..All he could say was "You spoilt lil brat..". There, I must have my last laugh...else, I won't give up!

And his cookings were simply irresistible. Not that Imelda's cooking is bad, she is an excellent cook. My mom and other aunties learned from her on those traditional cooking. Marcos's signature dishes includes young bamboo shoots with beef, braised beef, fish paste porridge or oats (my favourite), beef jerky, steamed egg with fish brain, sweet steamed egg, etc..Boy o boy, I cleaned up my plate everytime and often crossed border to attack his portion too..he he he...

Every weekend, he would planned all sorts to keep me entertained. Plans can be as far as going to Genting Highland just for the sake of cooling down or somewhere just to have a plate of hokkien mee (my favourtie then)...I don't know why but whenever I travelled in a car I fell asleep easily then..So, sometimes we made it to our destination while at times he just made a U turn without uttering a single word...

The last trip with the whole family was to PD. Marcos was not himself somehow. Every now and then, he insisted me to capture photos of him..for memory he said. I did not pay much attention. After supper, we gathered at the corridor with my other cousins ie Jaycy and Janet...as usual, we girls loved to hear him talk..mind you, out 10 words out of his mouth, 7 are foul langauge which we found that without them, it would not be him...He told us that he had lived his life and he would rather die straight if any mishap happens..his will is not to be a burden for his beloved wife and his family..His only worries would be Imelda on her rhuematism and Judy, his 3rd daughter...We immediately hushed him and changed the whole subject..

About 2 weeks after PD trip, Marcos took me to another trip with Imelda..it was just 3 of us..I was reluctant at first but hey, it has been a while that the 3 of us travelled...we headed to Kukup Island in a tour where the whole bus was full of old folks..I guessed I was the only young adult in the group..the tour guide must be wondering if I have signed up on the wrong trip! I hated the tour guide as she did not pass my share of breakfast thinking that young gal would be on diet...why waste?! Marcos noted that and gave half his share to me..I took it because I know if I didn't, he would be upset thinking I am on diet..O, he dislikes those who opt for diet to be thinned..He always said, "Sik tak hai fook" (Able to eat is a blessing!)

By night after dinner, the 2 of us were sitting at the dock enjoying the sea breeze. Imelda went to the room for an early rest.He told me many stories..from politics to family's history. I never grew tired in listening to him..but at times he went silent..and we just simply enjoyed each other's presence...

A horrific news came after 2 weeks from Kukup trip. Dad told me that Marcos was hospitalised when I came back from pasar malam. The dinner which I had before we went to hospital was the most difficult to swallow till date.Marcos hit a beam when he was fixing the roof that afternoon. His brain was bleeding and he was in coma. The sight of him lying in ICU with many tubes inserted is still fesh in my mind.

I prayed so hard for a miracle...after 7 days, he left. My whole world crashed but I was told not to tear whenever Imelda is in sight...she lost her man whom loved her for 50 years!During the funeral,I overheard my cousin was conversing with some uncle/aunty and pointed over to me "Yea, she is the one..you remember her..you know,my father loves her so much as though she was his own...everyone said she looked like him and he was so proud. He even hid in the toilet and cried when she went home at 6 yrs old..his eyes continued to be red for the next few days..this is how my father loved her.." He cried???!! I remember that day when my parents took me, I cried to the top of lungs, hanging to his legs but I can't recalled anyone came for my 'rescue'...

Disbelieving what I heard, Jaycy and Janet confirmed to me in several other occassions..even Imelda too...

A man whom had been through the toughest in his life and never once gave up...would tear for a small non blood related girl..I am so touched and I am lost for words for his love...While I was lost and angry that Marcos never had a real chance to enjoy his retirement age, God spoke .."My child, why are you so angry?? you prayed for a miracle and wanted with all your heart for him to have good life...wouldn't being with Me, he will have ALL things?" My heart agreed with God but my mouth just unable to say "Amen" because I am no longer near him...

Over the years, the Lord helped me to build myself and I began to re-look to those times when we spent time talking...I realize that the PD trip we made 1 month before he departed, he had given us the last message..ie Look after Imelda and Judy for me...he knew he was leaving...he damn knew it!!!

And I guess, I learned that in loving someone, it is not necessary to be near him/her...more importantly is I continue his wishes and be of someone whom he can be proud of...

I am so blessed that God has given me him and I am so blessed that he is with Him...AMEN!THANK YOU, Pak Pak..it doesn't matter how many years will passed, you will always be part of me...

Destination

I was reading a book and a phrase caught my attention where it reads "..the destination is less important than the journey."

I beg to differ as my destination is as important as my journey. By knowing where I am heading, I then know how to path my way and more importantly I pray that my way would be in line with His 'prepared route' for me...

Last few weeks have been rocky...work is getting more pressurize..Everyday is do or "die". It did not matter what are the 'obstacles', just know that we need to deliver our target. Here we know where is our destination ie 600m is the mark. But the pathway is never clear..rocky, winding, contradicting and most of the time we found 'dead-ends'...I pray that something can be done before we end up like many others whom we once 'laughed at' for acting like a headless chicken. I used to be upset when I hear about a resignation from someone I am close to. Now, if the same happens, I would be happy for them...Many have asked that I do the same..at the moment, my mind and my heart could not agree with each other...I guess, being loyal has a price to pay but how much more can I afford to fork out???

Not just having to deal with the pressures at work, getting in and out of the hospital is like adding tonnes of weight on my shoulders. I praise God for His miracle healing on mom whom lost her memory temporary...but unfortunately she did not receive a clean bill of health when we returned for a second check-up. Her white blood cells count is abnormally high. Another check is needed.

As I was trying not to let the devil to control my mind, a SMS came during a meeting and my Ah Leong was rushed to UH for a suspected stroke. I was lost during the whole meeting and the memory of loosing both my Ah Pak and dad quickly dominated my thoughts. I prayed silently that history will not repeat and God has graciously heard my prayer...Ah Leong was diagnosed with low sugar level instead of stroke. Hallelujah! She recovered and discharged within 3 days...

Well, the above was not the only incidents..my bro broke his ankle badly during a futsal..here we go, it's UH again!!!sigh..going to UH's emergency ward was almost like frequent visits to a friend' house. This has to stop and it will in Jesus's name. I am believing in God to place His mighty hands on my family members and heal them...Amen..

Thorughout the challenging times, it made me realized that having Jesus in my heart is all I need to carry me through, nothing to fear, nothing to be confused...just walk wih Him faithfully...though the path maybe rocky, winding, contradicting, dark, no consistency... but it is the path that I have chosen and must take because I know damn sure that I am seeing "The Light" in front of me...MY DESTINATION!

In You I trust, amen...

A cave in Ipoh (aka "The Light")