Year of Ox..MooOooOoo!

Since dad has left us, we dare enough to break away from tradition and had not been 'slaughtering' on CNY eve. No matter how we persuaded, dad would never agree to have Reunion Dinner out of the house...sigh. Well, I guess he had his own opinion and everytime when we sat at the table, we soon forgotten about the hassle of preparing the dinner...


This eve, Amy came back to join us for Reunion Dinner at Ming Room. As I always say, it is never about the dishes we have on the table…it's the family members whom are enjoying the dinner with... I am glad that our family is growing...next year, we will be having 5!Amen...

1st day as usual, we begun our visiting to my beloved 2nd aunty. Every year going to Ah Leong's house, it's like going back to my hometown...yea, it's just about 20km away...but the old neighbourhood brings back a lot of my childhood memories...looking across Ah Leong's house reminds me of my childhood friends...the family has 5 kids. Eldest is Ah Ling who is 6 years older than me...followed by Ah Fun, Ah Fah, Ah Kuen and youngest Ah Mun. Their father is a durian seller and I get free durian everytime he has left overs...These bunch of friends were like my siblings and I don't feel good if I don't see them for a single day. I was told they would also look for me whenever I was at home with my parents...They were also the ones who gave me a bewildered experience of kena rotan from Ah Leong...hahaha...I wonder where are this bunch now...hope they are well...

Then we headed to Ah Sok's place. This year, we get to meet up with my 2 cousin brothers who returned from Suzhou and HKG. Great to see them... Besides, Kok Hoe also announced that he too will be marrying in Oct...Congrats, bro!

Next 3rd Ah Leong. Unfortunately, she was not in and we were greeted by Ah Fun sis. Wow, her boy has turned into a fine young man...time flies...and last of Wong's family would be my 4th aunty. It was also a pleasant surprise to have Ah Mei and her hubby returned from Aussie.

As usual, everytime I get my ang pow...it will sure come with a comment ..."So, when can I stop giving you a?" or "You know, waiting for your cup of tea makes my neck longer"...sigh...cold sweat...to receive ang pow nowadays is no longer as 'excited' as it use to be...hahaha...My friend sms myself and asked how many ang pows I have collected...I replied, these ang pows collected has "blood and sweat" in them...hahaha

This year, wonderfully all my cousins from abroad have returned home...how superb to begin the year of Ox with our family all home plus good news to be shared...We shall be looking forward to March and October to celebrate the marriage of my brother and Kok Hoe!

Gong Hei! Gong Hei!

CNY

Time flies…those days when I was younger (not too long ago though :P) CNY was the best time of the year…1 month before this festival arrives, the young ones will be very excited because we get to have new clothes, new shoes, play firecrackers and most of all…the ang pows!!!

Those days my family and 7th uncle’s family stayed with my grandparents…so, when CNY was near my mom and 7th aunty would be busy cleaning and cooking while our dads were busy cleaning their cars and repairing any electrical items which were spoilt for some time…nobody would care until CNY and suddenly time seems too short for everyone. Well, what we the young ones do? Of course, we need to pretend helping our parents (let’s just say if we really did, they will have more to clean up…hahaha…) I remember, we looked forward to night…it’s firecracker time! We used to gather a few cans and fire them everywhere. Whoever managed to have the loudest blast would seem to be the winner!

On the 1st day, all the young ones would be dressed up like ‘super models’…even if our shoes were hurting our feet, we would never complain…as early as 8am, my Ye Ye’s house would turn into a busy ‘market’ as all the Wong’s would return home. Everyone had to queue to pour tea and wish Ye Ye and Ma Ma with the best wishes…then it would be from the eldest to the youngest…the whole house were filled with laughter and joy…all arguments and grudges which they had were forgotten on this day…the children were compared on their heights while some were busy showing of their new baju and ehem, jewellery…

Our family moved out eventually and these CNY routines only lasted for another year or so. Ma Ma was sent to an old folks home since she needed medical care 24 hrs…she left a couple of years thereafter and it was then Ye Ye’s turn to be sent to an old folks home…I never understand why but I never dare to ask…

Since then Ye Ye’s house had never been the same…CNY had changed…instead of gathering in a common place, we started to visit every of my dad’s siblings’ home. There were 4 of them…if each house we need about 2 hours, we would need 8 hours to complete…so, we have to start early. My dad would wake us up early because we have to eat before we start visiting…waking up early is already torturing – worst was asking me to eat rice that early…sigh…I hate eating rice when the sun is only starting to shine!

By the time we finished all 4 houses, my mom, bro and myself were practically ‘half-dead’ while my dad, half drunk. By night, dinner was simple comparing the night before when we had reunion dinner…and the dishes…well, there were the same – the only different is lesser portion…

Our 1st day doesn’t stop at dinner. We have to make our way to Ulu Kelang to visit my mom’s aunty. Usually we arrived at 930pm and everyone in Yee Poh’s house was already half ‘partying’ with mahjong and drinking…at that age, I was too young for mahjong and drinking…what we do? Well, either we sit by the side of the mahjong table and hand over drinks to the players or sit with dad and Yee Kong to hear them cursing at politicians in the country and in their office…both choices were great for me…else I won’t know how to play mahjong neither would I know that in any generation of mankind, politicians are mostly sucks – whether they are working for the country or those in our office!

2nd day, yet again my dad would wake us early to ‘hoi lin’…again is about having rice…sigh, who the heck created such culture!!! Later on that day, it’s my dad’s turn to receive his siblings and other relatives…although I was made into “Ah Sei” for the day…I was proud of my part time role as a ‘bar waitress’…hmmm, I guess the alcoholic gene is in me because I love to pour beer…and pour beer and pour beer and pour beer…seeing my relative and cousins in my home, I feel the special warmth where 364 days were missing…

Well, I am not sure about other family. Although it has been a routine for every CNY on whom we visit or who would be coming…and as the years gone by…some of my family members have ‘left’…we also have ‘additional’ members along the way - somehow the topic of conversation has never change…best is we never grow tired of the same questions neither are we annoyed in answering them…hahahaha

Now, my dad is no longer around to wake us early and we do not need to eat rice that early…again CNY has changed…

I guess as we grow, the feel and the way we celebrate CNY will somehow change…these days when CNY is near, we confess that we ‘lost’ the feel we used to have…I wonder whether this ‘feel’ will return when our life changes to another stage i.e. when we have children and that they are old enough to understand this festival…then would it be like when I was young and were in Ye Ye’s house…I wonder…

“Gong Hei Fatt Choy” “Chook Lei Lin Lin Yau Kam Yat, Sui Sui Yau Kam Chiu” “Chook Fook Lei Loong Ma Ching San, Po Po Kow Sing, Wang Choy Chow Sau” “Chook Lei Sam Seong Si Seng”

2008

A few more days and we are entering into a brand new year…perhaps this will be my last blog for year 2008.

2008 passes-by tremendously fast and at times I felt worried because it seems like I am running after time…beginning of the year we have a restructuring in our division and I am posted to HQ. I thought I was ready to face any challenges and I also prepared myself for those things I thought I would have a handful! Well, it did not turn out the way I thought it was suppose to…and all the effort of ‘preparation’ never been put to use whereas many situations happened unpredictably. As the Chinese saying, “Let heaven predicts your next step rather than your own selves”…how true!

In this new position, I have a lot of exposure especially in people management. Certain times I wished I can return to be a junior officer to ‘escape’ from responsibility rather than where I am. My ex-boss used to say “A popular manager won’t make him/her a good manager”…I somewhat disagree with the statement. I think it should be…”A ‘yes’ manager won’t make him/her a good manager”…Well, the word “NO” is absolutely a very heavy word to utter though it’s just 2 alphabets compare to 3 in a ‘yes’…but most of the time there are not many options for us and we always hope that our teams would understand someday – somehow…to go through these challenging episodes I kept reminding myself, it’s all about work – nothing personal. I wonder if the other party would have the same thought…

Then a rude shock came right after my birthday. All these while I thought I am just trying my best to do whatever I can for everyone. Unfortunately, people have otherwise opinion on my action and now I am put to blame for their loss. It is disheartening and depressing. Sometimes I wondered whether I really had made an error and why not just accept the blame to stop the whole episode. However in one of the Sunday sermon, a verse in the bible helps. It says “Live such good lives among the pagans that, though they accuse you of doing wrong, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day He visit us” (1Peter 2:12).

2008 was not just about challenges and hard times. I had my best travel so far which I have been planning for a long time. I had great time with my friends and my family. I met up with some of my old friends and I also made new friends…I had the opportunity to taste fantastic food!

This Christmas brings a lot of good times…on the eve; my family had dinner at Euro Deli. On Christmas Day, we had great lunch with my best pals and their family…so many babies at one time in my house - brought a lot of joy! By night, we headed to Jaycy’s home where I looked forward to every year. Those days, Janet would be the host before she migrated to Perth and if I remember correctly, we never missed any of her invitations neither Jaycy’s. I particularly loved during the dinner is the chatting…although my job requires me to talk a lot but when I am at home with my family, I am more a listener…and I simply enjoy it! Not to forget boozing with my cousins is another fun part…hahahaha…I don’t know how to describe their expression but they definitely make me laugh…like when I was small how they made funny faces to tickle me! If I am given a choice, I preferred those gatherings we had when I was younger - when every family members are still around…ie Marcos, 4th sis-in-law, my father (all who are with the Lord now) and also my cousins Janet & her family in Perth and Allan…I miss them…

The next day, we had BBQ session with my team from JT together with 2 “special” guests. We were blessed with good and rich food. I believe everyone had a good time and Kiwi too…On Saturday, I made a journey to Seremban with boss and Ling to attend Karen’s wedding…and Sunday after church, we headed to an elderly aunty’s house. I am amazed with this aunty. She is going to be 79 next year and she invited 13 of us for Christmas lunch! She made fried mee, sui kao, vegetable, fried fish balls, chicken, pot pies, cheese cake, jello and drinks with the help of a maid…the best part was when she has prepared all the food for us, she entertained us and herself by singing karaoke!!! She operates the vcd and the hi-fi herself…she chose the cds and her favourite songs herself without any help or even a pair of spectacles…I think she enjoyed herself very much…I thanked God for her exemplary life…she lost her husband and her son…her daughters are in overseas and she stays alone with a maid. Yet she maintains a joyful life and less bother of how people may see her…Hallelujah! What a joy to know her…

No matter where or how the situations will turn out to be, I have to convince myself that I should not be looking backwards and only have to focus in moving forward. I trust that God will lead me through every hurdle and even if I fall I have Him to hold me and put my feet back on solid ground…and if someday I could be like my church aunty who is care-free and joyful despite so many adversities, it would be a blessing! I am going to work towards that…Have a Great and Blessed 2009!

Great dishes on Christmas Day

Highlight of the Day - Turkey

At Jaycy's house

Guess who's the real chef?

"yummm, I smell bone in here..."

Ribs and Wings..yummy

BBQ session

Thanksgiving

Hmm…when comes Dec, we often look forward to Christmas and we never knew when is Thanksgiving!

The word “Thanksgiving” is powerful enough to remind us of God’s blessings given unto us and that we should be grateful in whatever circumstances we are facing.

It has been 20 years since I came to know Christ and each time I looked back on the day which I made the decision to accept Him, I have not regretted and in fact I don’t or wouldn’t know what I will do or would become without Him all these years. Simply with this statement, I should and always give thanks unto Him for being a true friend to me...and unconditionally…

It has been a terrible start of Dec…we always say, when thing get jinx, it will be jinx all the way…it is very disheartening to know that all the time we thought we are doing good things or helping someone would turned out be a total wrong! Not only that the people are not appreciative…they turned against you and blame you for doing things which are hurting them! Sounds familiar?

The last time I felt such heaviness in my heart was almost a decade ago. That time it only lasted 2 days and no physical pain noted. Perhaps I was 10 years younger then…This time it lasted almost a week and I really felt the pain in my heart…guess its due to lack of sleep and I have been thinking a lot! I was scared that I may collapse anytime; I tested my heart by going to gym and did the treadmill for an hour…I survived …hallelujah! I asked God to lead me as I sincerely don’t know what else to do and I was seriously over exhausted…and graciously He begun to move each of the jigsaw into its place…although the jigsaw puzzle is yet to be completed…but I felt so much lighter…I need to rely on Him as I know that these circumstances which I am facing may or may not turn out the way I wanted…”FAITH” is the word to describe how I am suppose to handle them…

I learned that we do not have control over many things in our life. The only thing we could control is our own self whether in terms of feelings or actions…and God never fails to give us a choice to choose…Funny thing is, most of the time we choose the wrong path…but at the end when we realize we are heading towards ‘disaster’ we finally look upon Him for direction! And He will graciously lead us despite of our shortcomings…I often wonder for those who are free thinker…to whom they will seek help from when there are times where they are beyond human intervention…I am blessed that I have Jesus!!! Amen…

2 days ago, we celebrated my mom’s birthday together with SAL’s mom. They both share the same date ie 9th Dec…they have been friends too since I knew SAL 5 yrs ago…during the lunch, we captured some shots and there were a photo of my mom and SAL’s mom and a photo of SAL and myself…when I looked at these 2 photos, I made a comment…”SAL, this is how we looked like now…in 20 yrs time, will we look like our moms?”. We laughed out loud until we teared a lil… Aunty Soo then commented, “You girls should give thanks to the Lord if you are as healthy as us in 20 yrs time” and she gave a laugh…How true!!!

Well, does anyone know when Thanksgiving Day is? I think I should pay more attention to this wonderful Day moving forward…

“You are my strength when I am weak; You are the treasure that I seek: You are my all in all; Seeking You as precious jewel; Lord to give up I’d be a fool; You are my all in all;”

It's November!

It’s the time of the year when we used to be so broke continuously until we received our bonus in March or April the following year…only if we have bonus…sigh. Well, it’s not yet Christmas though...it’s November! Nope, we don’t celebrate early Christmas…we celebrate birthdays…

Yes, every November month, we have birthdays to celebrate! Starting with Yip on 7th…then myself on 13th, SAL on 21st and KSL on 27th…if you noticed our birthday are 7-8 days apart i.e. a week…A few years ago, we were still junior officers and with our income then, having dinner at Chilli’s or TGIF would be luxurious…

Well, we must confess that we girls were a little selfish (WMC, SAL and KSL)...for Yip’s birthday we will just settled with him a piece of cake and our wishes from the bottom of our heart…when it comes to ours…boy, we had the most fantastic dinners which can cause a big ‘hole’ to our wallet and pressies as well…we were in debts by end of Nov and we didn’t care as we know we can use our bonus to cover the ‘hole’ later…how spoilt we were?!

The first year when we found out that our birthday is a week apart, we celebrated 3 times…each week, we had different luxurious restaurant to spoil ourselves…phew! We realized soon that the ‘hole’ was too big for us…we then learned to combined our 3 celebrations into one mega celebration! Second year onward, we did just that…but the ‘hole’ in our wallet did not really shrink…we spent on other things...hahaha...

I remember well for one year, we had our celebration with Yew at the Hardrock Café Restaurant…we had great nite out…when we left the restaurant, it was pouring…to get to the carpark, we had to cross over the swimming pool area where there is no shelter…as we walked back to the carpark, myself and SAL brave the rain to reach our car and we were wet! But then we did not realize that KSL and Yew weren’t behind us…we waited for 15mins and no sight of them…finally they turned up and told us they explored an alternate route via the kitchen and they were almost being locked out….hahaha…after all their adventure, they were still wet like us!

The following day, we had made plans to visit Meleka and SAL’s hometown in Rembau…Because of the rain, SAL was down with a flu, KSL and myself were down with fever…yet, we still go ahead with the trip…Yew was the driver and he was fine…sigh…throughout the journey to Melaka, we slept…our first stop was A Famosa…the place didn’t excite us…probably because we were so sick and no mood…we took an ice cream despite that of our fever to cheer ourselves up but didn’t really work… :(

By nite, we had dinner at the Portugese’s settlement…had seafood and baked crab…could hardly taste the food…finally, we send KSL to her parent’s home and we moved on SAL’s home in Rembau…we slept in the hall together…I popped in a panadol, SAL popped in a flu pill and we went silent within 1-2 minutes…My guess was KSL popped in pills as well just like us too…suddenly, myself and SAL were awaken in the middle of the nite by Yew’s snoring…gosh, it was like a train charging down the track…we decided to abandon him in the hall and slept in the room…hahahaha…this is how we treated a friend!

Depsite we were so sick, we still 'die die' made the trip and at the end, we needed medication...this was how 'powderful' we were!

Why did I mention that we were broke from Nov till March?! Well, the spending spree wasn’t just to cater for our birthdays…Nov – Jan are the best months for weddings and those years most of our colleagues and friends were going thru ‘tow fa wan’ (cherry blossom years – “the in love period”) one after another was getting married like a ‘contagious disease’…then we have Christmas which we just can’t hold ourselves back from buying pressies for our loved ones and friends…then comes the CNY’s shopping spree and ang pows for our elders…so, those 4 months we practically digging and digging ‘hole’ to our wallet…sigh…

But no matter how bad our debts were…we had fun and we had the best time with each other…now that we can afford good dinners, many good nights out and fantastic pressies…we do not have the opportunity to do such ‘powderful’ things again…SAL is now happily married with a kid and one more on the way soon J …KSL is in Melbourne with her darling and Yew...hardly hear from him except recently he invited myself for his wedding…Myself? I am happy with where I am and also still very in touch with my good pals…as well as I found new friends…a beginning of a new chapter…

Well, I hear a lot from people that they want to save money for this and that…and up to the point whereby they keep away from outings or spoiling themselves once in a while…but when you miss the opportunity of having fun…you just missed it! In no way the money we managed to save can bring back the chance of having a great time with friends...things just keep on happening and we just don’t know where, when or what we will end up with…how much money do we think is enough? This question I guess many would not have an answer as it changes often than not…Probably the question should be how many chance I want to miss for having a good time which I deserve!

Happy birthday to Yip, SAL, KSL, Estee, Kim, YSC …Blessed Marriage to Yew, Jack, William...

At the Altar...

Last Friday was a day where things just did not turn out to be the way which I thought they should be…

A “hope” which I have been fighting and made believe that it will be materialized soon would suddenly turned to be a dead end…bringing such news to a friend who trusted in me is simply terrible! I admit that I was not strong enough to tell her verbally and sent a sms instead…every words typed were like cuts to the heart …the pain while waiting for the reply was like an open wound…it came and although the bad news was well received, I was still shameful for this “defeat”! I was so sure that I will have it but…

While trying to accept this defeat, the young ones whom I have so much hope in them turned ‘ugly’ and naïve…a simple decision to make and they made it complicated…worst, none admitted their own immature thinking…I am thinking would my plans for them would be another bad choice after all…I was lost!!!

That day was not merciful…before I left office to attend a customer’s dinner, I was informed that my fellow southern “comrade’s” mother passed away after 2 months of suffering from stomach cancer…I sms to send my deepest condolences and my support for her and family…she thanked me and ended the sms with these words “I am heading to spore to get her…very sad”…my heart instantly broke…

At the dinner, though the whole team turned up…I hardly have the taste for the lobsters and oysters…tried so hard to control my drink…but each glass I gulped actually lessen the pain and took away my thoughts…4 glasses quickly became 5 then 6 then 7 and I lost count…after the final glass I started to tear and I could hardly opened my eyes…I was chauffeur to the toilet…then to my car and finally after all the commotion, I ended in my colleague’s house…throughout I vomited uncontrollably…I also heard a lot of voices..”Carry her…” “Why? We r here with you”…”don’t be a silly girl”…”It’s OK we r with you..”…”Let her rest..”…”take her home”…I was even more confused then but…One voice was clear…”Be strong for the Lord is with you”

I managed to get up and got home in the middle of the night…I had a busy and packed Saturday so that I won’t have time to think about Friday’s episodes…I woke up at 1030 and ran my errands, had tea with my best pal, went to hike TTDI’s forest reserved and finally to the Vienna Operetta Orchestra…I immediately ‘dropped dead’ when I reached home at 130am.

At church today, it was my turn to be in charged of the chorus board…as we sang, I was asking for healing…tears still streamed down as I was so heartbroken about the news which I had to break…then during the service, Pastor spoke “we often cry for our loss instead of our sin” …made me realized that I did not turn to Him when things got ugly but had opted for the drinks and even with that I am still not repenting for being drunk instead crying out to God about my defeat! How stupid I am?! I walked up to the altar, asked for forgiveness and prayed…Pastor prayed with me…

I know that - the Altar is the place to be and God is the answer…I am assured that there will be a new beginning in any and every of the situations which we think that they are ended…and I need to learn to be patient…He has promised! Amen...

“Turn to us Lord and touch us; Make us strong in Your might; Overcome our weakness, that we could stand up and fight…”

Tracking...

Well, it has been a while since I update the blog. Firstly, I am so touched to receive the comments from my friends and my family on my blog on “A tribute to the man who cried for me...”. Thanks!

Oct is coming to an end. Today we are celebrating Deepavali and it is nice to have a break!

Last weekend, a group of us headed to Cameron Highlands for a night stay. The last time I have been there were about 2-3 years ago. Nothing much has changed. However one thing which is quite obvious was the temperature, it was not as low as before. Sigh…we humans are terrible...we opt for development over protecting the nature…

The whole trip was “Awesome” as Kennedy puts it...but I particularly enjoyed the jungle tracking most. We started the track at about 430pm on the day we arrived...we were enthusiastic about this and frankly, none of us have been through this track in Cameron before…so, we don’t know where or what is ahead of us neither where’s the end...we played by ear and just walked...hopefully to see an end…

I was amazed to have the girls like Lisa, Louisa & Tze Yin whom are those who prefer beauty over adventure were as sporting as us…also Kar Mun whom hurt her knees when she returned from Italy a couple of weeks ago...still hanging tough and followed us closely behind…I am also proud of Jeff and David for staying behind with Kar Mun although they can choose not to!

The track seems to be unexplored for some time and we didn’t see anyone joining us on the track...it was just the 12 of us as we walked down hill…it was thrilling! The track was slippery, muddy and challenging…we have to climb over or squeeze through the fallen trunks...we also came across some small water falls along the way...some of us slipped and fell along the way…half way through, it poured heavily and we still continued on…the rain then stopped…before we get dry, it poured again..(it was more than a decade since I enjoyed myself in the rain!) Great sceneries were spotted along the way…they were breathtaking views…Awesome God’s creations…

After an hour plus, 11 of us decided to turn back since we were unsure how far to go neither will there be an end! Kennedy was the odd one out and suggested that we take a cab when we reach foothill…a cab in Cameron?? Nah!!!

We managed to reach our base about 630pm..one word describes our feeling then...EXHAUSTED! The following day, most of our legs were aching…but none regretted the tracking! We can’t stopped sharing the feelings that we had when we were on the track...we laughed, we knew the experiences we had was worth the while though it was tough!!! We hope to do it again someday soon…

This track has further reminded me about one’s life…God never promised us that our life would be an easy path…remember when we were born, we cried out loud! Life is definitely an ‘adventure’ for us...none of us would know what is ahead neither the end…there will be times that we need to climb over challenges, squeeze through the ‘difficulties’, surprises, exhausted, slip and fall…pain for loss, enjoyment of successes, feeling of joy and love from the people surrounding us…All these will be part of us…

Aileen’s father was hospitalized a month ago from a fall...he was in coma. The 1st time I saw him in ICU, the sight was similar to 10 years ago when Marcos was lying in Assunta. We did not give up and trusted God for miracle. I told myself, it didn’t matter what had happened 10 years ago...he will be a testimony for his family...God is merciful, he woke up in a couple of days and after a month plus he is now at home, recovering! Hallelujah…praise God!

Mom’s second check-up was encouraging...her white blood cells count is improving and I believe the next check-up would be the last for God will completely heal her!!! Amen…Jaycy’s received good news from her doc that her growth on her breast is non cancerous!! Praise God...Amen…

Many said we are heading into “great depression” as our global economy is in turmoil…some of us are loosing quite a fair bit in our investments and we are already complaining and worrying so much…but come to think of it, we should look at those whom have lost their job because of this economic crisis...those whom have to cut their food intake to ensure they can survive through this challenging times…those whom are unable to handle this crisis pressure and take their own life…I must say that we at times should look at things in a wider perspective rather selfishly and blame everyone for our own self lost!

Life is definitely a challenging one…and I know that I must rely on God to get through it…no matter how tough or impossible or how painful it can be...He will ensure that I will be able to overcome and be strong! The path maybe winding, muddy, slippery, seems to have no end but the day when I am called home, I can say “I am exhausted but I have no regrets in this journey…”